THE MANY FACES OF LOVE

We recently celebrated Valentine's day, the day we give flowers, candy hearts, stuffed animals and beautiful cards to one another. We delight in love stories where the characters live happily ever after. We cherish joyful times with our family and friends. Our hearts melt in the presence of little children.

Yet love, real love, also causes pain. To love is to be vulnerable. When we love, we are no longer in control. We suffer loss.

I was reminded of this several days ago. I woke to find that Jean was not in bed. This is not unusual, as she rises before me and heads to a local pond where she sits in front of “Timothy's Tree” to read, think and take photos. Timothy, our son, died four years ago. We love him dearly.

This morning was different. As I climbed onto my exercise bike, I noticed that the house was dark. Jean usually turns on a kitchen light when she leaves. I called to her, but no response. Immediately fear kicked in. Maybe she had a medical emergency and was collapsed on the floor.

I hurried downstairs calling her name. Then I spotted the note she leaves for me when she departs. I heaved a sigh of relief and climbed back upstairs to continue my exercise.

I remember another time when I panicked like this. We were graduate students, living in St. Louis. Jean went grocery shopping one night and was delayed. This was before we had cell phones. I literally paced the apartment until she returned.

I love my wife, but I'm not good at telling her. I realize my love mainly at times when I'm afraid that I might lose her. This is certainly true with our son, Timothy. We realize how much we love him, now that he is gone.

Death is not the only loss we suffer in love. We suffer the pain of unfulfilled hopes and dreams. There is the agony of betrayal – being betrayed and betraying. We anguish over missed opportunities that are forever gone. There are the decisions made that one wishes one had made differently. We experience unforeseen events, the accidents that forever change things. There are the ruptures in relationships where love turns to hatred, anger and frustration over what might have been and can never be.

We love animals as well as well as people. Two little dogs filled our lives with joy. We had to euthanize each of them as they grew old and infirm. It was torture holding them as the poison was injected, and their little bodies went limp.

Some of us are pained by the loss of any kind of life. I remember biking one spring in Madison, when I approached an intersection with a stop sign. A baby robin was perched near the rear wheel of a car at that intersection. I raced toward the car waving my hand. The car moved forward crushing the little bird.

Another time, while driving on a local street, I saw a seagull flopping in the road. I jammed on my breaks, blocking traffic, and raced to pick up the injured bird. As I carried it from the road, it's struggling ceased. I placed it gently under some shrubs, its final resting place.

I grieve when I see trees dying near highways, killed by the excess salt spread in the winter. I grieve for forests destroyed by clear cutting and corn fields covered over by asphalt for shopping malls. I grieve for animals who are butchered under inhumane conditions by giant food conglomerates. I grieve for all plants and animals that suffer due to human carelessness and callousness.

Love connects us in many ways. I am connected to people who irritate me when I pray for my enemies. I have few warm feelings toward these people. I don't love them like I love family members and friends. I won't send them bouquets of hearts and flowers. Yet prayer alters my attitude toward them. They are no longer objects of hate or ridicule. I realize that we are similar in many respects. We are connected in our common humanity.

Most of us have been conditioned to experience love as personal, romantic and spiritual. There is nothing wrong with this. It's beautiful and important. But it is only part of the picture. There is a deeper dimension of love. It's not emotional. It's something more. Ram Dass described it this way, “Unconditional love really exists in each of us. It is part of our deep inner being. It is not so much an active emotion as a state of being. It's not 'I love you' for this or that reason, not 'I love you if you love me.' It's love for no reason, love without an object.” For me, this love involves a realization that I am part of the whole cosmos, and this cosmos is part of me. In this love, there is no more “we and they.” We are all one.

We need this dimension of love today as we are confronted with human tragedies on a massive scale. Ten countries face humanitarian catastrophe in 2019, due to armed conflicts, economic collapse and climate related events. These result in internal or external displacement (refugees). These countries include Yemen, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, South Sudan, Afghanistan, Venezuela, Central African Republic, Syria, Nigeria, Ethiopia, and Somalia. Around 40 million people have been displaced across the world, with the top 10 countries accounting for over half - or nearly 22 million - of those displacements. These 10 countries also account for at least 13 million refugees, 65 percent of the global total, plus an additional three million people who have fled Venezuela. According to the United Nations, nearly 132 million people in 42 countries around the world will need humanitarian assistance, including protection, in 2019.ⁱ

This is not all. Humankind faces the possibility of extinction due to two other crises. The first is climate change due to global warming. The second is the loss of biodiversity due to climate change and population increase. A major report produced by theWorld Wildlife Fund finds that the vast and growing consumption of food and resources by the global population is destroying the web of life. This web was billions of years in the making. It is the web upon which human society ultimately depends for clean air, water and everything else. Many scientists believe the world has begun a sixth mass extinction, the first to be caused by a species – Homo sapiens. Other recent analyses have revealed that humankind has destroyed 83% of all mammals and 50% of plants since the dawn of civilization. Even if the destruction were to end now, it would take 5-7 million years for the natural world to recover.^{ii iii}

When faced with statistics such as these, it is easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of the issues. Even when we see graphic photos that grip us emotionally, we soon suffer from compassion fatigue because the pain of such horrendous suffering is too great to bear.

Our global cultures are awash in patterns of distrust, division, domination and violence. Life on our planet is threatened by global warming, overpopulation and diminishing biodiversity. Yet I still have hope. I have hope because everyday people are moved by unconditional love which is part of our deep inner being, love for no reason and love without an object.^iv This is the love that motivated Jesus as he spoke about the Kingdom or Reign of God.^v Founders of other religious/spiritual traditions stated this truth in similar ways.

We can observe this unconditional love in action if we just look for it. It was evident when Rep. Elijah Cummings recently concluded the House Oversight Committee's questioning of Michael Cohen with an impassioned plea for preservation of that which makes our democracy great.^vi

We observed it in June 2018 when Liz Theoharis and William Barber II reignited, the Poor People’s Campaign initiated by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.^vii

It was apparent in 2012 when Malala Yousafzai, age 15, was shot in the head by the Taliban in Pakistan. The assassination attempt was a response to her stand for the right of girls to gain an education after the Taliban had banned them from attending school. In 2014 she became the youngest ever Nobel Peace Prize laureate. Motivated by love, she leads pioneering change in attitudes towards women, children, inequality and education in Asian countries.^viii I am certain you can name others who behave in this way from your personal experience.

This is why I have hope. Everyday people are responding in unconditional love. Let us each heed this call that is part of our deep inner being. Rabindranath Tagore put it this way: “Love is the only reality and it is not a mere sentiment. It is the ultimate truth that lies at the heart of creation.”

The Patience of Ordinary Things^ix

by Pat Schneider

It is a kind of love, is it not?

How the cup holds the tea,

How the chair stands sturdy and foursquare,

How the floor receives the bottoms of shoes

Or toes. How soles of feet know

Where they’re supposed to be.

I’ve been thinking about the patience

Of ordinary things, how clothes

Wait respectfully in closets

And soap dries quietly in the dish,

And towels drink the wet

From the skin of the back.

And the lovely repetition of stairs.

And what is more generous than a window?

Another River: New and Selected Poems (Amherst Writers and Artists Press, 2005).

ihttps://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/inpictures/top-10-countries-risk-humanitarian-disaster-2019-181213184843061.html

iihttps://www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/oct/30/humanity-wiped-out-animals-since-1970-major-report-finds

iiihttps://www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/nov/03/stop-biodiversity-loss-or-we-could-face-our-own-extinction-warns-un

ivSee Ram Dass quote above.

vFor further discussion of this see Richard Rohr's new book, “The Universal Christ” at <https://store.cac.org/products/companion-guide-for-groups-the-universal-christvariant=21757908516948&_ga=2.220433560.1487970427.1551823633-1167299654.1551823633>

vihttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72gy-LZ4UN0

viihttps://www.poorpeoplescampaign.org

viiihttps://charterforcompassion.org/women-justice-and-compassion/23-inspiring-women-fighting-for-women

ixThank you Bill Rettig for sharing this poem at the end of this reflection.

GO WHERE NO ONE HAS GONE BEFORE

Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no man (sic) has gone before!

When I hear or see this intro to Star Trek, it still sends shivers up and down my spine. “To go where no human being has ever gone before.”

What a thrilling prospect!

To be the first person to lay eyes on the bones of a prehistoric ancestor;

To make a scientific discovery that breaks new ground;

To engage in a relationship that opens new vistas in your life;

To see the world for the first time when you were blind from birth;

To discover unimagined potentials in yourself.

This is the allure of vacation trips to exotic places. We imagine ourselves sitting on a sunlit beach by the ocean in Hawaii or skiing down mountain trails in the Alps. Each offers the opportunity to leave the sometimes drab regularity of our day-to-day lives and to experience something new. Most of us can't afford to spice up our lives regularly with these extravagances. For many of us, even a single “trip of a life-time” is out of the question.

I sometimes fantasize about taking such a trip to relieve the boredom in my life. Even in my fantasies, I know that the physical experience alone is not sufficient. It's the imagining, the anticipation, and the remembering that makes it special. It's the emotional, psychological, spiritual dimensions of the trip that count.

I remember when we adopted our 5 week old son, Timothy. I was a grad student, tired and pushing. It was three days after the first moon landing. We arrived at the adoption agency and were ushered into a small room with a crib. Jean looked down at the baby and said, “Hi Timothy.” Timothy smiled. Our hearts melted. My life lit up. 

The same was true when are daughter, Rebecca, was born to us a year later. I was present at her birth. Once again my life lit up. 

I am a now a grandfather, living near my daughter and grandson. As with years ago, my life lights up when I am with them. 

It isn't “a once in a life-time excursion” that lifts me out of the mundane. It is the inner anticipation, excitement, yearning and emotion that make these experiences worthwhile. Even when I am sitting in a room with my grandson, I am “exploring strange new worlds, seeking out new life, and boldly going where no one has gone before.”

I realize that my experiment in praying for my enemies was also a journey into the unknown. I started out saying, “Bless A; Bless B; etc. Soon the act was more than a mechanical recitation. It was suffused with a powerful yearning that my enemies and I could be part of something greater than our own set of desires and fears. 

I was no longer troubled by questions like;

                             To Whom or What am I praying?

                             What should I pray for?

                             Should I have an agenda as I pray for my enemies?

My process of “prayer” morphed into engaging something mysterious that is deep in me and also “out there.” It is almost as if I am in touch with a deep yearning of the cosmos. It's not something I can control. It's more like something of which I become a part.

Now when I pray, I am gripped less often by the sense that I am seeking power or insights to help me deal with specific problems. I feel strangely comfortable that I will be able to discern how I can most effectively contribute. It's no longer “me against the world.” Nor is it “me against my enemies.” I am engaged in something greater. 

My experience is similar to that described in “The Cloud of Unknowing” written by an early mystic.ⁱ  The author asserts: "We can not think our way to God. He can be loved but not thought. So, we dwell in a not-knowing (or claiming to know more than we possibly can) of God.” 

This is not a purely emotional experience. My thinking self is still engaged. It's just that ideas and concepts no longer dominate my engagement. As with my experience of adopting of our son, the birth of our daughter and time with my grandson, I am part of something akin to love. Just as the ancient mystic used the word “God” to allude to something he experienced as a “cloud of unknowing,” I am using “energy of the cosmos” to allude to what I am experiencing.

This takes me back to the beginning of this reflection. Physical experiences alone can't free us from the mundane. It's what's on the inside that gives meaning. When we are in touch with this dimension of life, even everyday experiences can be adventures of discovery.

Unfortunately, we live in a culture that focuses primarily on the external. This has dulled our consciousness. We have become automatons conditioned by cultural expectations. We are bombarded with ads that urge us to purchase goods and services intended to enhance our creature comfort. We are told we will have more control of our life if we hire certain consultants or use specific products. Politicians incite fear of certain individuals or groups to promote their programs.

I, like you, am influenced by these societal pressures: I exercise every morning, partly to enhance my health and partly because I envy younger people who are in good physical shape. I read voraciously, partly because it feeds my curiosity and partly because I want to compete with people who are better informed. I push myself, partly because I want to live a full, healthy life and partly to keep up with the competition. I even catch myself watching the clock during meditation rather than flowing with the experience.

We all have a tremendous need to grow our interior lives; our consciousness. Only in this way will we appreciate life, in all of its mundane aspects, as truly enlivening. In this way, we can we live proactively, inspired by goals that transcend the negativity of our complex and dangerous times. 

The writer of “The Cloud of Unknowing” gives this advice to engage the cosmic mystery, to grow in greater consciousness. 

For He (God or the cosmic mystery) can well be loved, but he cannot be thought. By love he can be grasped and held, but by thought, neither grasped nor held. And therefore, though it may be good at times to think specifically of the kindness and excellence of God, and though this may be a light and a part of contemplation, all the same, in the work of contemplation itself, it must be cast down and covered with a cloud of forgetting. And you must step above it stoutly but deftly, with a devout and delightful stirring of love, and struggle to pierce that darkness above you; and beat on that thick cloud of unknowing with a sharp dart of longing love, and do not give up, whatever happens."[6]ⁱⁱ

It doesn't require a Herculean act of will power to grow in consciousness through the power of love. Quite the opposite. One needs to follow the deep yearning to love and to be loved - a yearning that is common to us all. This feels risky in our externalized and goal oriented culture.  So it is difficult to follow this yearning. 

I experienced this when we adopted our son and when our daughter was born.  My life lit up, but I couldn't appreciate the gift in this. I was so consumed by the pressures of my studies that I repressed the yearnings of my heart. It is only now, through my daughter and grandson, that I finally appreciate this gift in me. 

It's not that I was totally unappreciative earlier in my life. It's just that engaging the cosmic mystery in the “Cloud of Unknowing” is a gradual process. It involves a metamorphosis, a transformation of the way we view the world. When guided by a deeper consciousness, we begin to realize that this is a major reorientation, “it's more WE then ME.” 

I discovered, but wasn't truly appreciative of this, when I was director of Madison-Area Urban Ministry. We engaged community conflicts looking for win-win rather win-lose options. We were often able to promote “out of the box” strategies that reduced injustices while also changing people's perceptions of one another. I now realize that Dr. MLK was right when he reiterated the advice given by the writer of the “Cloud of Unknowing. “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy to a friend.” 

I would add, “Love is the only force capable of transforming our consciousness of what it means to be authentically human.” We have the potential, individually and collectively, to move to a deeper level of conscious. This will allow us to experience our daily lives in a new light. We are part of a cosmic flow that gives us the potential to become more than we ever imagined.

We, like the women and men of the starship Enterprise, are on a mission: to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no one has gone before!

Wild Geese You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting over and over announcing your place in the family of things. -Mary Oliver, Dream Work (Atlantic Monthly Press)

i  https://www.americamagazine.org/content/all-things/reading-spiritual-classic-cloud-unknowing

ii https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cloud_of_Unknowing

WEIRD ENERGY: PART 2

My eighty-day practice of praying for my enemies was interrupted at the end of 2018. While in Minnesota visiting relatives, I landed in the hospital suffering from congestive heart failure. This incident reminded me that, even when I am committed to a course of action, I may not be able to follow through. I am not in control of my life. 

The simple fact, that we can't control our circumstances, no matter how hard we try, is key to engaging the weird energy that I began exploring in my last post.ⁱ

Although I know I won't live forever, I have not really faced the fact of my dying.

I am going to die.

You are going to die.

Even the richest most powerful people in the world are going to die.

My children are going to die.

Your children are going to die.

All of the descendants of all of the people on earth are going to die.

There is something deep in our psyches that resists death. This elemental urge is a necessary condition for the survival of all living things. Without this drive, life would not have emerged and sustained itself on our planet. This elemental urge serves us well in the moment. When we are attacked, we fight or flee from the danger.

With the rise of consciousness, there are complications. We humans are now able to imagine an existence in the future. We are able to envision future dangers We are able to develop strategies in the present to eliminate these anticipated threats.

Unfortunately, humankind is still tribal at its core. The US develops strategies to prevent Russia or China from surpassing us in technology, weapons production and economic growth. At a more parochial level, we develop strategies to prevent immigrants from residing in our country. More parochial still, members of the dominant culture develop policies to maintain their dominance over less dominant groups. These groups are often defined by race, religion, country of origin, or sexual orientation. They are labeled as undesirable and a threat to the society. In addition to the obvious moral shortcomings of such strategies, the threats they identify are transient and short term. 

When envisioning the future we need to examine evolving threats on a much broader scale and over much longer timelines. Even now, we seem unable to address long term threats to our existence. These threats include global warming, extinction of animal and plant species and deterioration of religious/moral structures, to name a few.

This tendency to view only our short term future is further exacerbated by people who manipulate our fears of domination and violence for their own ends. These tactics transform our primitive fight or flight response into a collective belief that violence and domination are the only means to preserve ourselves and our tribe.

This worldview is insidious at a deeper level. It tempts us to frame our existence exclusively in terms of physical survival. Corporations and universities are rewarded when they focus their efforts on narrowly defined goals. This stifles endeavors, like space exploration, since such endeavors are motivated purely by curiosity without any obvious benefits. 

This worldview also demeans the arts which somehow feed the human spirit without any material benefits.

Bret Stephens wrote an opinion piece in a recent New York Times, titled “Useless Knowledge Begets New Horizons.”ⁱⁱIn it he expresses concern about current strategies that sacrifice creativity for expedience. He fears that this focus will limit the freedom to create, which will diminish the creative genius of democracy. He writes: 

“.. freedom is the license the roving mind requires to go down any path it chooses and go as far as the paths may lead. This is how fundamental discoveries a.k.a., “useless knowledge” — are usually made: not so much by hunting for something specific, but by wandering with an interested eye amid the unknown. It’s also how countries attract and cultivate genius — by protecting a space of unlimited intellectual permission, regardless of outcome.”

Stephens credits Abraham Flexner for having this insight decades ago, writing, “In October 1939, as Hitler, Mussolini and Stalin were plunging the world into war, an American educational reformer named Abraham Flexner published an essay in Harper’s magazine under the marvelous title, “The Usefulness of Useless Knowledge.”ⁱⁱⁱHe then quotes Flexner who wrote: 

“From a practical point of view, intellectual and spiritual life is, on the surface, a useless form of activity, in which men (sic) indulge because they procure for themselves greater satisfactions than are otherwise obtainable. In this paper I shall concern myself with the question of the extent to which the pursuit of these useless satisfactions proves unexpectedly the source from which un-dreamed-of utility is derived........ I sometimes wonderwhether our conception of what is useful may not have become too narrow to be adequate to the roaming and capricious possibilities of the human spirit.” 

Here's where my brush with mortality is important. I was confronted by the fact that life, all life, has an end point. All people, including my enemies, are dealing with this reality. 

We can “eat, drink and make merry” as a way of living. But just like Mr. Scrooge in the “Christmas Carol,” the specter of death haunts us in the depths of our psyches. As with Mr. Scrooge, our instinct to protect ourselves and our tribe, carries with it a powerful desire to be in relation with other members of our tribe. 

When dealing with the real possibility of dying, we realize that money and power are not the highest priority. This is why people are willing to spend a fortune to delay death. When the prospect of death is imminent, we realize that the love and support of friends is of highest value. Unfortunately, many of us arrive at the moment without having engaged this reality adequately.

This is where my experiment in praying for enemies is so helpful. It allows me to engage these people in all their complexity.At their core, most of my enemies are no different from myself. The major difference is that they wield power. The old statement that power corrupts is very apt in this context. Most of us, if placed in positions of power, would be tempted to behave in a similar way. On a smaller scale, we often behave this way in our relations with others. 

What is true of us personally is equally true of humankind.For the first time in recorded history, our species has the technological capability of affecting the basic dynamics of our global environment. 

Our species is a bit like a precocious teenager who has exceptional scientific knowledge and skill but little wisdom. S/he can use her/his resources to dominate and control others, or s/he can teach others so they too will possess this knowledge and skill. We, like the hypothetical teenager, must choose how we will proceed which road we will travel. 

The first road is wide and easy. This is the road of domination and violence. It is conditioned by our primitive flight or flight response and is generally assumed to be the only effective way to proceed. This road offers some short term benefits but, ultimately leads to destruction. It is destructive within families; particularly in times of distress, like divorce or death of a parent. One only has to look at our national political environment to see how destructive this dynamic is within nations. On a global scale, this dynamic is degrading the ecosystem of our planet. This road also degrades characteristics we value as humans – curiosity, creativity, humor, artistic sensitivity and compassion.

The second road is narrow and difficult. Few travel this road as it runs counter to the generally accepted wisdom of our culture. It runs counter to our primitive fight or flight response. It feels risky and vulnerable. This is the road ofdeveloping compassion for all sentient beings – friends, enemies, plants and animals. This is the road of expanded consciousness. 

The motivation to follow this road may begin with the rational knowledge that the old ways aren't working. This knowledge will not sustain the journey. My eighty days of praying for my enemies put me in touch with a weird energy that engages something deeper than my survival instincts. It put me in touch with a powerful yearning for wholeness. This yearning reaches toward the future with hope rather than fearfully reacting to enemies and dangers of the past.

I continue to participate in a supportive faith community. I do so, not because of the moral mandates of my religious tradition. I participate because this community helps me engage a deep yearning to become my authentic self, less conditioned by what others think of me. As I proceed on this journey toward authentic selfhood, I am increasingly aware that I am intimately connected to all other human beings. This allows me to 

grow in the ability to love others, including my enemies. I feel less isolated and alone, less controlled by my fears and anxieties. This road helps me realize that I am an integral part of the ever expanding flow of the cosmos.

I need to reiterate here what I said in my last reflection.^ivThe love of enemies to which I am referring is a tough love. I continue to hold my adversaries accountable for their actions even while recognizing that we are part of a larger cosmic flow. This tough love ironically gives rise to a kind of objectivity that is free of the desire to seek revenge. This is a love that serves a higher purpose than my own immediate wants and needs. This is what was meant when civil rights leaders in the 1960's urged non-violent protestors to “keep their eyes on the prize.”

I don't know how you resist the primitive urge to control and dominate others, but I do know that resistance alone is not enough. It is necessary for each of us to grow in consciousness of our authentic humanity.

I urge you to pursue “useless knowledge.”Let your curiosity lead you into new ways of experiencing life. Take time for silence. Listen to beautiful music. Immerse yourself in beauty of all kinds. Share stories with others of your past, your hopes and your dreams. Listen to children. Pray for your enemies. Participate in communities that fill you with hope and joy.

Each of us is much more than we think we are. We just need to open ourselves to the cosmic invitation to fulfill our potential.

“To love another human in all of her splendor and imperfect perfection, 

it is a magnificent task…tremendous and foolish and human.” 

-Louise Erdrich, The Last Report on the Miracles at Little No Horse

ihttps://drchuckpfeifer.blogspot.com/2018/12/weird-energy.html

iihttps://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/03/opinion/new-horizons-ultima-thule-mission.html

iiihttps://library.ias.edu/files/UsefulnessHarpers.pdf

ivSee reference (i) above.

WEIRD ENERGY

It's the Christmas season. The air is filled with joyful music. Stores overflow with gift displays. In the midst of all this merry making, I feel like the Grinch.

I don't have warm feelings toward everyone in this Holiday Season. Some people push my buttons. Every time I think of them, my blood boils. They have caused pain to me and my loved ones, 

I shared these feelings with a friend recently. He listened patiently. Then he responded. “Twelve step programs recommend that you pray for each of these people, every day for eighty days.”

“Ugh.” I almost turned my back on him. His response echoed admonitions from my earlier days. “Don't get angry.” “JustTurn the other cheek.” “Jesus said we should love everyone, even our enemies. We are supposed to pray for them, not hate them.”ⁱ

Why would I show affection for a person who hurts someone I love? Why would I pray for them. This just enables evil and unjust behavior. It makes no sense.

Having said all of that, I did take my friend's advice. I made a list of ten people I couldn't stand. Some of them I knew personally. Others I knew only through news reports and social media. I've been praying for them for about a month now. I'm not trying to change them. I'm just blessing them. At first, this was a mechanical recitation. “Bless A. Bless B. Bless C. etc.” I did it honoring my friend's suggestion. 

As I continue this practice, something is shifting. I'm not as consumed by blind rage and a desire for revenge. I'm noticing things that were not obvious earlier. My thinking is more nuanced, less black and white. 

Even though their past and present actions are still wounding, I'm beginning to acknowledge that the persons who wronged me are not pure evil. That said, I'm still not able to forgive many of them. I am still wounded. I continue to insist that there be consequences for their actions. These emotions and demands come from a more grounded place, rather than the raging blood thirsty aspect of the wounded me.

There is a sense of detachment. In a strange sense, it is a humanizing place. I continue to insist on consequences for the hurtful actions of my enemies. I also appreciate the fact that they, like me, are complex individuals. They have many of the same wounds, deficits and potentials as I. In this realization lies the potential for some kind of reconciliation, even though I may never feel close to any of them.

I gained another insight in this practice. As I prayed for one of my enemies, I realized that he hadn't wronged me in any specific way. I just couldn't stand him. He was self aggrandizing and self promoting. Then the obvious dawned on me. He mirrored, my own unacknowledged negative characteristics. 

I had a further insight. I am jealous of him. He is successful and well known in the community. I envy him. I don't feel I measure up to him. I am the one who has issues. I am putting myself down. I need to be more accepting of myself, weaknesses and all.

A month into this eighty day experiment of loving my enemies and praying for those who persecute me, I am discovering something else. My dominant feeling toward these people has shifted from red hot anger to sadness. My enemies are no longer one dimensional. They are more like me than I care to acknowledge. We are all caught in dynamics of uncertainty, anger and recrimination.

I'm beginning to appreciate a Buddhist teaching that emphasizes the importance developing compassion for all sentient beings. Compassion alone is not enough. Buddhism teaches that to be a truly balanced and complete individual, one must develop both wisdom and compassion. A quote from Buddanet states, “If you are compassionate or loving and have no wisdom, you end up being a good-hearted fool, a very kind person but with little or no understanding. Other systems of thought, like science, believe that wisdom can best be developed when all emotions, including compassion, are kept out of the way. The outcome of this is that science has tended to become preoccupied with results and has forgotten that science is to serve man(sic) not to control and dominate him. And because Buddhism is not dogmatic but based on experience, it has nothing to fear from science.” ⁱⁱ

Jesus taught a similar lesson when he said,  “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” ⁱⁱⁱ

Up to this point I have described my experiment in praying for enemies I know. I am also praying for people in the news whom I despise but don't know personally. Because I only know these people indirectly through internet searches, social media and news reports, it is even easier to stereotype them than those whom I know personally. 

Given all of this, I am finding that my shift in attitude

 toward them is the same as for people I know personally. This insight has profound implications for me as a social change advocate.

I have been taught to develop social change strategies as one would in a chess game. The goal is to out flank and disable the enemy to obtain my goals. Often my enemy is defined in terms of a single issue. My enemy becomes a one dimensional caricature. My response to this caricature is often an angry outburst. This profoundly limits my options, even when I discuss them in a rational manner. 

This is what is happening with the political divisions in our country. One side proposes an action. The other side strips the proposal of all nuances and presents it in the most extreme, one dimensional terms. The first side responds in kind: We are off and running, reinforcing stereotypes and division. The difficult task of sorting through the many dimensions of the situation is short circuited. This dynamic is always destructive.

If you have every been involved in or observed a divorce proceeding, you have seen this dynamic laid bare. Both sides are trying to win. The lawyers for each side stretch and manipulate the truth. They site laws and legal precedents that will help them win the case. Issues of justice, compassion and wisdom are sacrificed in the process, much to the disadvantage of everyone, particularly the children. 

Is it any wonder there is so much injustice, hatred and violence in our world? Disputes between countries and cultures are millions of times more complex than a disagreement between intimates. In these cases, there are no personal shared relationships or mutual stories. Stereotyping and scapegoating are the name of the game. Furthermore, there are no rules of law that are agreed to by the combatants. Violence and domination are the tools with which these differences are addressed.

During this holiday season, I urge each of you to accept the challenge my friend offered me. “Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.” ^iv

Make a list of those folks you can't stand. Some of them you will know personally, and others you will know only through news reports and social media. Pledge to pray for each of these people for the next eighty days. Do this as an experiment. Note what happens to you personally and in your relations with your enemies.

I wonder what difference it would make if each of our faith communities, social action groups, and governmental agencies adopted this practice. 

Perhaps the wisdom of our moral/spiritual leaders is more trustworthy than we had imagined. Perhaps there is a weird energy more powerful than that of domination and violence. 

iMatthew 5:38-48 

iihttps://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/qanda07.htm

iiiMatthew 10:16

ivMatthew 5:38-48full

WHEN THINGS ARE TOUGH

You better watch out. You better not cry. Better not pout. I'm telling you why. 

Santa Claus is coming to town
He's making a list And checking it twice; He's gonna find out Who's naughty and nice. 

Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. 

He knows if you've been bad or good.
So be good for goodness sake! Ohh! You better watch out! You better not cry. Better not pout. 

I'm telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town. Santa Claus is coming to town...

When we were kids, the lyrics of this song motivated us to be good as Christmas approached. We wanted Santa to approve of our behavior so that we would receive lots of presents.

We assume that is true today. “What goes around, comes around.” If we behave morally, our lives will be better. If we behave badly our lives will go badly. Unfortunately life doesn't seem to work this way. Look at what's going on in our world.

Fourteen million people in Yemen are on the brink of famine as a result of a proxy war between Iran and Saudi Arabia.¹  While news of the migrant caravan and US border policies dominate our news,²  the unprecedented global crisis of 68 million displaced people fleeing from death and destruction, hardly enters our consciousness.³  A typhoon and tsunami in Indonesia killed more than1500 people, injured thousands and displaced more than 71,000.

These statistics grip us because we know this pain intimately, through our own suffering and through the suffering of those we love. Each of us has stories of unwarranted suffering in our personal lives and in the lives of those we love. 

Whether we place our trust in Santa Claus, God, or our higher power, it is true that terrible things continue to happen to good people and that bad people are often rewarded. 

The question, “Why is there unwarranted suffering in the world?” has troubled humans since earliest times. Ancient Babylonian and Sumerian poems (2000-1700 BCE) raise this question as does the book of Job, the oldest book in the Hebrew Testament ( 600-400 BCE).⁴

The story of Job begins with a gathering of God's council, which includes Satan. Satan, in this ancient story isn't the red demon with the long tail, horns and a pitchfork. Satan is the member of God's council who is “the accuser” or “the prosecutor.” He wanders the earth and brings charges against people who are corrupt or disloyal to God. 

Satan argues that Job, a wealthy man, is faithful because he has not suffered. God then allows Satan to visit all sorts of tragedies on Job. His crops and flocks are destroyed. His children and servants die. His body is covered with sores.

As Job sits on an ash heap, scratching himselfwith a broken pottery shard, his wife and friends come to him. They advise him to confess sins that he hasn't committed so God will stop punishing him. They urge him to stop being a righteous man because God is not rewarding him for his goodness. Job refuses on both counts. 

Job then questions God about his unwarranted suffering. God responds that Job has no idea what he is talking about because he didn't create the earth and everything that lives on it. Job acknowledges the fact that he can't understand the Transcendent. The story ends with God praising Job because, unlike his friends, Job speaks his truth to God. 

Like it or not, we must engage Job's dilemma. Why should we live moral lives? Why should we continue to work for compassion and justice in a world where suffering seems random and capricious? It's possible that we live in a cosmos, governed only by chance, where human greed and avarice are the norm. It's possible that our efforts to promote justice and compassion in the world are futile. This begs the question, “Is the God we worship sufficient to the task?” 

I'm not talking here about the God of your childhood. I'm talking about the present reality in your life, the reality upon which you depend, when you are experiencing tough times. This reality may be God, Yahweh, or Allah of the monotheistic religious traditions. It may be Jesus or the Holy Spirit of the Christian tradition. It may be your inner Buddha nature. It may be some other Higher Power. I believe we all have something that we depend on to guide our thoughts and actions, even if we don't name it.

It takes courage to “hang in there” as Job did in this ancient story. It takes courage to be true to yourself when times are tough. Job did this when his friends told him to give up. He continued to live according to God's commands in spite of his suffering. In doing this, Job was transformed. He was able to engage his God in ways he before experienced. He was able to move beyond the traditional understanding of God, held by his wife and friends. He was able to say to his God, “I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you;⁵

Job was faced with three choices in his suffering. He could continue to suffer, blaming himself for his suffering. He could reject his commitment to live a moral life because he was not being rewarded for his behavior. He could stay true himself and consciously question the source to which he was committed. 

He chose the third way; the way of transformation. These are choices facing each of us as we deal with the unfairness of the cosmos, both personally and societally. This problem cannot be solved rationally. It is something we must engage personally, through story. I will share the story ofmy personal Job experience. While I do this, allow yourself to remember a Job experience in your life.

My Job experience occurred in my mid-twenties when I was a graduate student in St. Louis. Jean and I had been married a year. We were isolated from our family and friends in Minnesota. I remember lying in bed one day; deeply depressed and unsure if I wanted to live. I hadn't passed the qualifying examination that would allow me to continue in grad school. I had given my all in the effort, but it wasn't enough. Jean was homesick, and our young marriage was on rocky ground. I felt abandoned by God and everyone else. It seemed that God was punishing me, demanding more than I could achieve.

This was the beginning of multi-year struggle with God. I retook the qualifying exam, complete my degree and took a research fellowship at the University of Wisconsin. Three years later, I changed careers and became the first director of Madison-area Urban Ministry (MUM). I served MUM for 25 years, still following the call of a demanding God. I suffered a second injustice, when I burned out with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Once again, I had given my all. Again, it was not enough. This time, I was so tired, I didn't even have the energy to argue with God.

I spent nearly two years isolated and on disability. Like a wounded animal, I crawled into my personal cave to heal or die. Then something amazing happened. My demanding God morphed into a friend. I imagined us sitting by a campfire just talking. God morphed again into a mysterious presence that I experience but can't define. This strange presence is still with me and is somehow a part of me. 

As you remember your Job experience, how is this affecting your experience of God? (Remember, the God I am referring to is that guiding source in your life.) What new challenges does it present? How is it affecting the way you live? Is your present source of guidance adequate? Is there a deeper source of guidance available.

This is one of the amazing things about the stories and traditions surrounding religious/spiritual leaders. Often, their lives were profoundly affected by situations of injustice and suffering. 

Siddhartha Gautama,⁶  a wealthy prince, was so moved by suffering in the world around him that he left his family and position of privilege. He wandered the country as a penniless ascetic, nearly starving himself as he renounced the world to seek release from the human fear of death and suffering. While sitting in meditation, Siddhartha finally saw the answer to the questions of suffering that he had been seeking for so many years. In that moment of enlightenment, Siddhartha Gautama became Buddha ("he who is awake"). For the remainder of his 80 years, Buddha traveled the country preaching the Dharma (the teachings of the Buddha) in an effort to lead others along the path of enlightenment.

Christian tradition describes Jesus as the son of a carpenter who was raised as an observant Jew. He yearned for a Messiah or Liberator who would free his people from (Roman) domination as King David had freed his people in the past. He went to John the Baptist who preached that God would defeat the Roman dominators. At his baptism, Jesus experienced an epiphany. He, like Buddha, went off by himself into the wilderness seeking enlightenment regarding his role in the liberation of Israel. ⁷He emerged preaching a reign of God based on love and compassion rather that of violence preached by the zealots who fought to overthrow Roman Rule. Throughout his life, Jesus continued to engage Yahweh, his heavenly parent, as he faced increasing opposition from Roman and Jewish authorities. Eventually, Jesus realized that he was going to be executed as an enemy of the state. The night of his arrest he contended with God, fearful that his life's work would be in vain. ⁸Even as he was crucified, he cried out to God in the first verse of the lament of Psalm 22,⁹“My God, my God, Why have you forsaken me.”¹⁰  Like Job, he refused to abandon his commitment to God even in his suffering and dying. 

Mother Teresa relinquished a position of wealth and privilege to join the Loreto Sisters as a teacher in Calcutta. On her way to an annual retreat she reported that Christ spoke to her. He called her to abandon teaching and to work instead in "the slums" of the city; dealing directly with "the poorest of the poor"--the sick, the dying, beggars and street children.  She followed this call. Shortly after she began her ministry,Jesus took himself away. Teresa lamented, “Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The Child of your Love.” Years later, describing the joy in Jesus experienced by some of her nuns, she observed dryly, "I just have the joy of having nothing--not even the reality of the Presence of God [in the Eucharist]." She described her soul as like an "ice block." Yet she wrote, "I accept not in my feelings--but with my will, the Will of God--I accept His will."¹¹  Like Job, Mother Teresa remained faithful even though God seemed absent. 

Rev. William Barber and Rev. Liz Theoharis, co-director of the Kairos Center, at Union Theological Seminary, are revitalizing the Poor Peoples Campaign begun by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Reverand Barber has ankylosing spondylitis, an arthritic condition that causes him chronic pain, and forces him to lean forward when he stands. When asked how he copes with his condition, he recounted that once, when he was visiting an encampment of homeless people, a woman offered him her chair, one of her few possessions.  He then recalled how Harriet Tubman suffered from epilepsy, and that Franklin Roosevelt commanded the country for thirteen years, through the Depression and global war, despite having been stricken with polio, that all the heroes of the Bible had some physical or mental challenge.¹²

It's difficult to remain faithful to our inner guidance in a world where unwarranted suffering, greed and violence seem to be the norm. It's difficult to live a moral life when all around us immoral behavior seems to have the upper hand.

Yet, this is the message of Job. This story was written in ancient times with an outmoded world view. Even so, the message is there. Job remains true to God even through his unwarranted suffering. Job speaks his truth to God and engages God at a deeper level than those around him.

It is time for us to ponder the meaning of this story for us. Why should we live moral, compassionate and loving lives when such living will not save us from unwarranted suffering and injustice? Why live this way when the odds are stacked against us? What's at stake in terms of our deep humanity? 

I cannot answer these questions for you. I can only speak personally. Something changed in me through my Job experience. It makes no rational sense. Yet for me it is compelling. I feel overwhelmed by the seeming randomness of suffering and injustice in the world. I will still try to live in ways that promote justice in ways that are loving and compassionate. I don't believe this kind of living will earn me rewards. I simply feel more whole when I try to live this way. 

There is a deep mystery in all of this, a deep unknowing. Something in us yearns to be more than we are; reaching for something beyond ourselves. Surely it is worthwhile to keep on reaching.

1https://www.nytimes.com/reuters/2018/10/23/world/middleeast/23reuters-yemen-security-famine-un.html?module=inline

2https://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-45951782

3https://www.mercycorps.org/articles/worlds-5-biggest-refugee-crises

4https://www.ancient.eu/article/226/the-ludlul-bel-nimeqi---not-merely-a-babylonian-jo/

5Job 42:5

6https://www.biography.com/people/buddha-9230587

7Mark 1:4-12; Matthew 4:1-11

8Matthew 26:36-46

9Psalm 22:1-3 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer; and by night, but find no rest. Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.

10Matthew 27:32-50

11http://time.com/4126238/mother-teresas-crisis-of-faith/

12https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/05/14/william-barber-takes-on-poverty-and-race-in-the-age-of-trump