Frank's
Story
I
met Frank* at a shared table in a crowded coffee shop - a middle aged
man, slightly balding. He was reading a paper and whistling softly
to himself, improvising to the muzak. "Are you a musician?"
I asked. "Used to be." "What do you mean by that?"
“Do
you really want to know?" "Yes,
if you're willing to tell me."
I'm
a classically trained pianist - Juilliard. I was a child prodigy. I
performed with a number of symphony orchestras. I also did some
composing. Later my interests migrated from classical to jazz. I
combined classical riffs with old school blues. People marked me as
a real comer in the jazz scene.
When
I was on stage, I was in my medium. It was me and the crowd. I was
at the top of my game. I had wealthy friends, fast cars, money and
fame. These things were the measure of my success. The trouble was,
I didn't relate well to people.
I
believed I was the best, and I wanted everyone to know it. I was a
real jerk with my band. I'd follow a solo by one of the guys with
one of my own as if to say, "I'm the real star here." I
didn't hang out with other musicians. They knew I was talented, but
they never really accepted me. I heard later that one of my band
members said he felt like a stage prop, a bit of glitz to enhance my
performances.
Eventually,
the really talented musicians left my band. I continued on, but
never made the big time. As my career declined, I craved the
idolization of my fans, almost like a drunk craves another drink. I
needed to maintain the illusion that I was important, worthwhile and
in control.
Finally,
my wife, Elaine, put it to me in terms I could not ignore. “Frank,"
she said, “either you change your ways or we are through.”
“You're a middle aged man. You've squandered your talent. You'll
never again be a concert pianist or a top jazz performer. You have
few real fans. Your high living friends will dump you as soon as you
run out of money. I love you, but I can't watch you destroy yourself
through your delusions."
Elaine's
ultimatum was like a blow to the gut. My world came crashing down
around me as the truth of her statements hit home. Were it not for
Elaine, I would have slid further into a world of alcohol and drugs.
As it was, I was so depressed I was hospitalized for a few months in
a treatment facility.
Finally,
I began to face the facts of my life. I was born with huge
potential, a prospect for greatness that was never realized. I still
had a decade or two left to live. It was mine to decide if I was
going to give up or deal with the shambles of my life? If I was
going to deal, I needed help from Elaine and others. I had special
gifts, but so does every human. My sense of specialness and
entitlement had isolated me from myself and others.
I
stopped attending the high roller parties. I went to jazz clubs to
enjoy the performances, not to be recognized. I relaxed. I worried
less about my image. I stopped assuming that high quality music
could only be performed by well known musicians in certain venues. I
began to listen to street musicians, young people with great
potential who could never afford a conservatory education. Many of
these kids would spend their lives in prison because poverty excluded
them from the opportunities I had squandered.
Slowly
a vision developed, one in which I could invest my life. I would use
my performance abilities, my compositional skills and my knowledge of
the jazz scene to help a few of these kids become the musicians I had
never become. With the support of Elaine and a few friends, I
developed a small music school in the inner city.
As
the school grew, I noticed a shift in myself. I didn't need to be
the star. I was part of something bigger. I experienced a burst of
creative energy greater even than when I was a concert pianist or a
jazz performer. I was involved in something worth while, something
good and meaningful. I was using my full potential and enjoying it.
I
never spoke to Frank again, but his story will be with me forever.
Our
Story
Frank's
story is not Frank's alone. It is our story, the story of our
nation.
Like
Frank, when confronted by Elaine, we need to face the facts of our
own national history. The founders of our nation dreamed of a
democracy where its citizens had the right to life, liberty and the
pursuit of happiness. Even with the sorry chapters of our treatment
of Native Americans and our history of slavery, our nation carried
with it a prospect for greatness. But we, like Frank, have
squandered our talent. We
are middle aged as a society. We will never again be the super
power, the uncontested beacon of hope that we were in our formative
years. We have become one nation among many in a newly developing
global culture. We are acknowledged for our economic and military
power. But many in other nations view us with hatred and suspicion.
As I concluded in my last post, Why
Do We Do It?,
“We live in a culture that is addicted to material possessions and
to dominance of those who stand in the way of our accumulation of
these possessions.”
It
is ours to decide whether we are going to continue in our addictive
patterns or whether we are going to deal with the shambles of our
national life.
We
can give up in denial and continue in our national assumption of
American exceptionalism and entitlement. This isolates
us from humankind in a little bubble of our own making, a kind of
idolatry – a worship of our false image of greatness. Inevitably,
this will lead to our downfall.
If
we choose to deal with our addiction, we can
reappraise our national policies and behaviors in view of our moral
failures. We can look to others for help, realizing that we are not
in control of life on our planet. We can define ourselves less in
terms of material possessions and international domination, and more
in terms of participation with others. We can choose to utilize our
talents, experience and creative energy in new ways to benefit a
global family, that is itself in danger of extinction
This
requires each of us engaging the depth
within
ourselves that gives meaning to our lives. For some, this depth will
be found in the traditional religious and spiritual paths that have
served well in the past - Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity,
Islam, etc. For others this depth will involve life style and
world-view modifications precipitated by cutting edge insights like
those related to the Mind and Life
Institute1,
the processes of the New Consciousness2,
psychological insights like those of Wolfgang Giegerich3
and Evolutionary Spirituality4,
to name a few.
Some will engage this personal depth in
new age spiritualities5,6.
Still
others may be transformed by compassion as they reach out to the poor
and oppressed, as happened with Mahatma Gandhi,
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, and Oscar Romero.
Whatever
our spiritual practices or non-practices,
this shift in national direction and attitude requires that we each
participate by engaging the dynamic
that
gives meaning to our lives and enhances life for all humanity.
One thing is certain. The collective path that
we develop as a nation and culture must be a collaborative one. We
are long past the time when we can afford the luxury of demonizing or
discounting the religious, spiritual, political and psychological
practices of others whose world views and experiences differ from our
own. Each person's path to meaning contains insights that can be of
value in these times, as we humbly reassess what it means to be fully
human. In this process, it is important that we each follow our own
paths to meaning with integrity. Only then can we contribute to the
good of the whole.
Finally,
we must be open to the new and innovative possibilities even as we
are guided by our personal practices. A new consciousness is arising
in our species. This consciousness is grounded in an understanding
of our commonality as humans and in our participation with the
generative
and inventive
qualities of the cosmos.
If
we can appreciate the fact that humanity has far greater potential
than previously realized, we will obtain insights that we had never
dreamed of. This, I believe is our task. We need to take from the
past, that which is helpful and compassionate. We need
simultaneously, to engage future possibilities that enhance our
humanity and adaptability. We, the human ones, are challenged to
provide the continuity between that which has been and that which is
becoming. This, like Frank's little community school, is a task
worthy of us, an engagement that involves something
good and meaningful that will extend far beyond our limited efforts.
I will speak more of this in my next post.
* Frank is a composite of several remarkable people I have met.
* Frank is a composite of several remarkable people I have met.
- http://www.mindandlife.org/collaborators/ a collaboration between His Holiness the Dalai Lama and a growing international network of researchers investigating the effects of contemplative-based practices on the brain, human biology and behavior
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolfgang_Giegerich
