Mothers' Day has come and gone.
For a brief moment we honored those who loved and mothered us. Now
we return to the real world and business as usual where domination
and violence are normative. Like the Hallmark image of hearts and
flowers, the Way of Love and Compassion is viewed as an ineffectual,
sentimental approach to life that should be reserved for puppies and
babies. In point of fact, real mothering is not always gentle and
beautiful. Real mothers protect their little ones in times of
danger, even sacrificing themselves in the effort. Real mothers
challenge all of us, men and women, to this kind of living.
I have always known my mother was
my major nurturing figure Only now am I realizing that my birth
father also nurtured me, even in the final moments of his life.
I was four years old. It was
dusk. My dad was driving. We were nearing Grand Forks North Dakota
where he was to begin his new teaching job. Mom and I were sitting in
the front seat. Baby sister, Jean, was sleeping in the back.
Suddenly we swerved to miss a nearly stationary car that had no
lights. There was a deafening crash as we collided head on with a
car coming toward us. Mom and I were catapulted into the windshield.
Dad was crushed behind the steering wheel. Little sister awoke,
climbed over our bodies and ran screaming down the highway.
Dad, though mortally wounded, was
still conscious. He said, “Take care of my family first.” I
remember none of this. We were all hospitalized. Mom's face was
terribly scarred. She suffered through several reconstructive
surgeries to repair the damage. I was unconscious for forty-eight
hours. My little sister, suffering only a broken arm, was the
darling of the nursing staff, as she toddled around the hospital.
I can't imagine the pain mom
endured following this tragedy. Many nights she cried herself to
sleep. She screamed to God, “Give me strength. Stand with me. I
can't do this without you.” Mom's niece joined us when we were
released from the hospital. She helped mom sell our new house in
North Dakota and to move back home to Minnesota.
Mom returned to teaching
elementary school. With the help of her mother, brothers and
sisters, she raised my sister and me as a single parent. Several
years later, she married my second father, a gentle unassuming man
who loved us as his own and who fathered another sister and brother.
It was during these times that I
realized the power of a nurturing community. Mom was well known in
her home town, as was the story of her personal tragedy. People
stepped up to nurture and support us – neighbors, other school
teachers, business people and members of our local Church. Yes,
mom's anguished cries to God were answered through her community.
Each
of us has stories about women and men who mothered us. These people
equipped us with resources to live with love and compassion in a
world that is inundated with the ancient messages of the gospel of
“Redemptive Violence.”
i
This mothering dynamic has fueled a Way of Compassion that has
challenged the Way of “Violence Saves” for centuries.
As
Early as the 6th
century BCE, Siddhartha Gautama experienced a transformation. He
was born the son of a tribal King in Nepal. His father raised him in
opulence, grooming him to become a prince and leader of the warrior
class. One day he traveled outside the palace and, for the first
time, observed poverty, suffering and death. He was so overwhelmed
by his desire to alleviate the suffering of others that he renounced
his princely station and wandered the country as an aesthetic,
seeking enlightenment. Finally, near starvation, he meditated under
a Bodhi tree. There a young woman offered him food. Nourished, he
continued to meditate until he finally achieved enlightenment.
As
Buddha, the Enlightened one, he shared his insights with others. He
taught that there was a way that one could escape the ongoing cycle
of suffering and death and be at peace. This could be accomplished
if a person became so conscious of and compassionate for the
suffering of others that s/he was willing to devote her/his life to
taking on this suffering for the sake of all sentient beings. This
Way of Compassion (Buddhism) provided a powerful alternative to the
practices of domination and control embodied in the religion of
Redemptive Violence. ii
Five hundred years later, a young
boy named Jesus, lived in Nazareth. It was located in the northern
part of Israel; a country on the western edge of the Roman Empire.
Near the time of his birth, a Roman legion crushed a rebellion in the
city of Sepherous, only five miles from his home. The city was
destroyed and thousands of people were crucified. As a result, Israel
was a hotbed of revolutionary fervor. These sentiments were
heightened because the political/religious leaders in Jerusalem
cooperated with the Romans in order to maintain their power.
At
the age of 30, Jesus left his father's carpentry business and
traveled some 70 miles south. He was baptized by John, as part of a
movement to free Israel from Roman domination. As John lowered Jesus
into the waters of the Jordan River, Jesus experienced a moment of
insight that set him on a similar path to that of Siddhartha Gautama.
iii
Immediately, he returned to Galilee and began healing, preaching,
teaching about the Way of Compassion. He called the Kingdom or Reign
of God. Local dissidents deemed his tactics ineffective while
national leaders were threatened by his popularity. Finally, in a
last ditch attempt to convince the political/religious leaders that
the Way of Compassion and love was the only way Israel could survive,
Jesus traveled to Jerusalem knowing that this confrontation might
cost him his life.
Approaching
Jerusalem, Jesus looked down on the city and wept. He cried, “If
you had only recognized this day and everything that was good for
you! But now it’s too late. In the days ahead your enemies are
going to bring up their heavy artillery and surround you, pressing in
from every side. They’ll smash you and your babies on the pavement.
Not one stone will be left intact.” iv
Forty years later Jerusalem lay in ruins. The nation of ancient
Israel was no more.
It
was not until Gandhi that non-violent resistance was defined as a
strategy for the Way of Compassion. v
Gandhi organized a mass movement around a salt march to the sea.
This march struck a decisive blow against British Imperialism and
lead to the Independence of India. Others followed in Gandhi's
footsteps. Martin Luther King Jr. used non-violent resistance which
precipitated the American Civil Rights movement of the 1960's. This
was followed by the 1989 nonviolent protests in China;vi
and Arab Spring.vii
Although there were many more such movements, only these few
captured international attention.viii
The
way of “Violence Saves” is constantly before us. CNN reports
daily on violent confrontations in Iran, Afghanistan, Mexico,
Venezuela, Syria, Burundi, ix
Nigeria, South Sudan, Somalia.x
Warfare is the focus of much of our recorded history. School children
are taught about the war legacy of our nation – the Civil War,
World Wars I & II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the two Iraq
Wars. We celebrate and commemorate our military engagement with
holidays – Vietnam Veterans Day (March),
Armed
Forces Day (May), Memorial Day (May), Korean War Veterans Armistice
Day (July), VJ (Victory over Japan) Day (August), Marine Corps
Birthday (November), Veterans Day (November), Pearl Harbor Day
(December). Only the Marting Luther King holiday (January)
celebrates non-violent resistance.
Meanwhile
the Way of “Violence Saves” lurches from one lethal action to
another, each one promising an instant solution, but few delivering
on the promise. The common perception persists that this is the only
effective way to proceed. A recent study indicates that non-violent
resistance is more effective than violent confrontation in many
situations. xi
The
Way of Compassion continues slowly and steadily in the background.
It validates the underlying truth that we each experienced from those
who mothered us. The seeds of compassion have been sown deep in our
hearts. They are waiting to sprout and grow. The
process of love seldom results in spectacular, top down quick fixes.
It is a slow process that grows from the bottom up and from the
inside out as it changes attitudes and perspectives.
I
remember talking with my mom late in her life. She said, “My life
has been good.” I responded, “Mom! How can you say that? You
were widowed twice, both times under tragic circumstances. You
raised two sets of children as a single parent. You suffered a heart
attack. How can you say, 'My life has been good?'” I didn't get
it. Mom had expended herself in loving others and had suffered the
consequences. Even though her life was laced with tragedy and loss,
my courageous, compassionate mother was able to say, “My life has
been good.” Now I understand. She new deep in her soul that her
life was full and complete.
This
is our challenge. Live with a mother's heart. Risk engaging all of
life with compassion. Risk the pain. Weep over the dominating and
violent actions of people and nations that produce little other than
further domination and violence. Continue forward even when things
feel hopeless. Shelter the vulnerable even as a mother hen shelters
her chicks with her own body.
Only
a few of us can live this way in isolation. As with my mother, most
of us need a community of support. So, engage a community that
values this kind of living. It may be an action group, a faith
community, a neighborhood group, or a group of artists and
story-tellers.
Together,
we can participate in the cosmic flow that is present now and that
continues after we are gone. Our efforts can be more than programs
driven by greed and fear. They can be infused with our life energy
and with an energy that extends beyond ourselves. Even though we are
small, we can engage the massive global structures of domination and
oppression that threaten our very existence.
We
like the mothers we honored on Mothers' Day, can live for the
children, the little ones, the vulnerable ones. We can be truly
inclusive because we are part of that life giving force that courses
through the cosmos.
i
The belief that violence ”saves” is so successful because it
doesn’t seem to be mythic in the least. Violence simply appears to
be the nature of things. It’s what works. It seems inevitable, the
last and, often, the first resort in conflicts. If a god is what you
turn to when all else fails, violence certainly functions as a god.
What people overlook, then, is the religious character of violence.
It demands from its devotees an absolute obedience- unto-death. This
Myth of Redemptive Violence is the real myth of the modern world.
It, and not Judaism or Christianity or Islam, is the dominant
religion in our society today.
<http://www2.goshen.edu/~joannab/women/wink99
Note: Theologian,
Walter Wink, claimed in other parts of this article that this
ancient myth first appeared in Babylon about 1250
BCE)
iihttp://www.biography.com/people/buddha-9230587
iiiMatthew
3:13-17; Mark 1:4-11; Luke 3:21-22;
ivMatthew
23:37-39; Luke 19:41-44
vHttps://wagingnonviolence.org/feature/gandhi-win/
vihttp://www.gmu.edu/programs/icar/ijps/vol2_1/True.htm
viihttps://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/campaigns/2016/01/arab-spring-five-years-on/
viiihttp://nvdatabase.swarthmore.edu
ixhttps://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/26/world/africa/burundi-violence.html?action=click&contentCollection=Africa&module=RelatedCoverage®ion=EndOfArticle&pgtype=article
xhttp://www.americansecurityproject.org/critical-issues-facing-africa-terrorism-war-and-political-violence/
xihttps://www.forbes.com/sites/alexknapp/2014/07/24/the-proven-superiority-of-nonviolent-resistance/#46094c8c68f0
