THIS IS YOUR WORLD. CARE FOR IT. SHARE IT. LOVE IT.

A tribute to my son, Timothy Pfeifer Part 1

 

My son, Timothy Scott Pfeifer, died unexpectedly from complications of health problems. The date was February 12, 2015. Even now, it is difficult for me to acknowledge this fact. I go about my daily business - reading, writing, reflecting, exercising, praying, eating, watching TV- trying to ignore the empty spot in me that may never be filled.

Timothy was a complex, caring, tenacious, brilliant, extravagant individual - a powerful life force that is no more?  He was loved by many? He lived life "flat out," packing 80 years of living into 45. Many grieve his passing with tears and tortured conversations. I am just numb.

My grief is creeping up on me in the form of depression and loss of energy. I find consolation knowing that he lives on in the lives of all of us who were touched by him. He is now a part of that cosmic mystery that throbs with life.

James Carroll (The Winter Name of God) states, “The name of God is changing in our time. What is his winter name? Where was his winter home?” This quote characterizes me; and has much to say about my son.

Timothy did not define himself as traditionally religious or even spiritual. In fact Timothy refused to be stereotyped in any way. Politically he was loathe to characterize himself as either liberal or conservative. He often challenged me calling me a typical 'Madison knee-jerk liberal'. He said, “Dad, you see the world as either black or white, good or bad. People are much more complex than that.”

His philosophy of life was summarized in a note accompanying a book of maps given as a Christmas present. It read, "This is your world. Care for it. Share it. Love it."

Tim's brilliance and perseverance were unquestioned. He was employed first as an associate with the law firm of White & Case and then as a parter with BakerHostetler. There he was part of the team that prosecuted the Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme. David Sheehan, the lead lawyer for this investigation, said of him, "Timothy joined the Madoff team very early on and was a key member of that small band that created the architecture for all of the complex litigation in which we are all now immersed. He had an amazing facility to walk you through the labyrinth of facts that comprised our most complex cases and make them readily understandable." Sheehan further remarked at Timothy's memorial service, “When you interview some people, you say, 'They are obviously someone I want.' Timothy was so far above even that estimation that there wasn't any comparison.”

Jim Mintz, founder and CEO of the James Mintz Group of private investigators had this to say of Timothy, “My colleagues were Timothy's investigators. Together we created giant graphics that looked like platters of spaghetti and that only he and we understood. He had an uncanny ability to hone in on the crucial details, to see connections no one else was seeing while, keeping in view the big picture, and how it fit into the larger argument he was advancing. Timothy was genuinely brilliant at studying what makes people tick. Our love for him grew from this business relationship. I'm not sure that I will meet the likes of Timothy Pfeifer ever again. I miss him a great deal.”

Tim was much more than a brilliant lawyer. He had a marvelous “out of the box” sense of humor. As a partner at BakerHostetler, he purchased a PackMan machine and installed it in his office. People had to pay to play, and the proceeds went to charity. When something struck him funny, he erupted in a silly giggle that echoed throughout the room.

Timothy was a connoisseur of comic books. In fact, he and a fourth grade friend, wrote and distributed them. They hired other forth graders as copyists paying them a penny a book. Timothy's comic book collection, many collected in his youth, was stored in a corner of his office in special boxes. Each comic was encased in a plastic sheathe to keep it in mint condition. Timothy's office shelves were populated with a strange assortment of trinkets including Star Wars action figures, a Buck Rogers Ray Gun, robots, moon landers, a sword cane, and a futuristic red fan. After his death, these momentos were given to friends as keepsakes.

Timothy was known for his special flair. His professional dress was impeccable – suit, tie, pressed shirt and carefully polished shoes. Outside of the workplace he dressed in outrageous combinations. When traveling to international assignments, his flight outfit consisted of shorts, golf shirt, suit-coat and flip-flops. He once accompanied an Asian friend to a family wedding. He dressed in a gold oriental coat that was more spectacular than even that of the groom. He accompanied his friend's father, a diminutive Asian man dressed in a western business suit, to the wedding. They stopped at a fast food place for coffee. Neither man seemed concerned that a small Asian man in a western business suit was dining with a large African American man in a gold caftan. Timothy once met a neighbor outside his apartment building wearing shorts and flip-flops.  He had painted his toe nails. His neighbor noticed this; and on the spot, they schedule a time to visit the salon to have their nails repainted.

Timothy was exceptional in the way he related to people I remember attending a party with him at a supper club in rural Wisconsin. Timothy sat down on a bar stool next to a local farmer and engaged him in an extended conversation. He later explained that the man seemed like an interesting fellow, so he struck up a conversation with him.

It took Timothy's assistant a long time to realize that her boss could also be her friend. She is an organized person who keeps her desk and office area neat and clean. Timothy would tease her by placing little knick-knacks on her desk. She'd remove this clutter and place it discreetly back in Tim's office only to find it reappearing in her office area. Timothy engaged her in long discussions about what color they should paint the one non-white wall of his office or how he looked in his new shirt.

Timothy took hundreds of candid photos of people standing or sitting alone in parks and subways, or walking on city streets. His photos demonstrate deep insight into the human condition. Timothy was particularly affected by the poverty he observed on his trips to Mumbai, India where grown men scrambled to gather the garbage thrown to the holy cows in this Hindu country.

His appreciation of and commitment to the humanity of each individual even affected his legal career. He refused to participate in the political games that many play to obtain advantage over others. He once told me, “Dad, if you honor your opposition in a legal case and are willing to really listen to their arguments, you can save millions of dollars in the settlement.”

Finally, Timothy loved and was loved by people. When we traveled to New York City after his death, we were overwhelmed by love. Over and over we heard how Timothy cared about each person he met - partners in the firm, foreign dignitaries, building caretakers, social acquaintances and personal friends. Tim befriended a cleaning woman at the firm. One night he found her crying in the hallway. Her pay had be docked because she had inadvertently violated a building regulation. He reached into his pocket and gave her all the money in his billfold. A British lawyer who worked with him on the Madoff case in England, was so impressed by Timothy that he traveled from London to be present at his memorial service.

Timothy, you and your legacy continue to live. You affected the lives of individuals and institutions throughout the world. And you affected me.

You taught me to see the creative potential in all people, particularly those with whom I disagree. You taught me to live outside my box, to challenge my norms and biases for the sake of creativity and life. You taught me that brilliance in thought is much less important than loving relationships. You taught me that a whole or holy life is not primarily about well developed philosophies, theologies and belief systems. My life becomes more whole when I engage the wonder of the cosmos completely and without reservation and share that wonder with others in mutual caring and respect.

The writer F. Forrester Church put it this way: “The power which I cannot explain or know or name I call God. God is not God’s name. God is my name for the mystery that looms within and arches beyond the limits of my being. When I pray to God, God’s answer comes to me from within, not beyond. God’s answer is yes, not to the specifics of my prayer but in response to my hunger for meaning and peace.”

Son, you are helping me to appreciate my hunger for meaning and peace. You are teaching me to Live with Soul. I love you so much; and I miss you more than I can ever know.