RIPPLES

Last week, I had a wonderful experience at my local coffee shop. I sat near some friends who were involved in an animated conversation about morality and values. I realized that each of them was sharing insights that I had discussed with them earlier. I left elated. Our actions, like a pebble dropped in a pond, do produce ripples that affect others. This experience was important because I am a product of my age. I want proof that my life makes a difference in a world where powers beyond our control dominate everything. 

Even as a youth I remember asking questions and being told by adults, “You need to have faith.” I understood them as saying, “You just have to believe that life works this way.” I couldn't do this. I trusted my experiences in the physical world because they made sense. But I wasn't sure about issues of values and morality. Some were easy to embrace, like “Don't Steal” and Don't Kill.” Others were less clear. How was I to relate to friends who disagreed with one another? How should I behave when I couldn't accept the dominant attitudes and teachings of my community? How would I make decisions about my future? The proclamations of my religious tradition and those of the elders of my community were not helpful in dealing with many of these issues.

In this way I identify with today's “nones” who define themselves as spiritual but not religious.ⁱAs one raised in a Christian tradition, I am still greatly moved by the life and teachings of Jesus. But traditional Christian theology leaves me cold. It's images are drawn from an outmoded cosmology that makes no sense to my twenty-first century mind. I am constantly having to translate. 

I am not particularly interested in arguments about different religious and doctrinal proclamations. I am drawn more to people who walk their talk as they work for compassion and justice in a world that lacks both. I continue to pray and meditate as a means of engaging the energy that sustains and focusses me, even though I have difficulty defining this motivating force. I participate in my faith community because it sustains and inspires me. 

This leaves me in a terrible quandary. I remember when my sister died. The service was alive with affirmations that her suffering was over and that she was now in heaven with loved ones who had passed on. I yearned to be one with those for whom this was still a vital and empowering reality. 

I, like many who are steeped in the age of rationalism and individualism, am cut loose from moral certainties and the supportive communities of the past. We seek meaning in our jobs, families, friendship groups, athletics, politics and social networks. Some of us even participate in religious organizations.ⁱⁱOur values, however, are often relative and conditioned by cultural norms. 

Unlike earlier times, we now have technological capabilities unimaginable in the history of humankind. It is clear that we need new or reformed institutions to provide moral/spiritual grounding in our global culture. Without this, I fear for our shared humanity. We are tempted to succumb to the primitive drives of violence and domination. Meanwhile, the destructive capacities of our technologies outstrip our moral ability to control them.

We, who are confronted by these fears and uncertainties, have two choices. We can live in the present, providing, as best we can, for ourselves, our families and our friends; or we can engage our inner yearnings for something more. We can live for the future even though this future seems bleak. This requires trust. We have no cosmology that guarantees the outcome, yet we can live as if our lives do make a difference, as if the “yes” of the evolving cosmos is stronger than its “no.” 

In a strange twist of our evolutionary history, we are now discovering that the science which formed the bedrock of our search for certainty is also uncertain at its core. At the beginning of the twentieth century, scientists believed that classical physics, with Newton's equations, completely described the cosmos. Our world was solid and well determined. 

Then entered Einstein, Bohr, Planck, Heisenberg, Schroedinger and others. The discovery of relativity and quantum mechanics completely altered our understanding of the cosmos. Trees, cars, animals and humans were no longer solid entities. They were made up of atoms and molecules, which consisted of protons, electrons and neutrons. These, in turn, were made up of quarks and leptons.ⁱⁱⁱ  Particles were no longer just particles. They were simultaneously particles and waves.^iv

According to present theories, time and space are no longer fixed and independent. They comprise a single entity called space-time that is stretched and warped by gravity.^v  At unbelievably small dimensions, space-time is no longer continuous. It is a boiling mass of virtual particles and antiparticles that constantly blink in and out of existence like the bubbles in the foam on a glass of root beer.^vi  There is a basic uncertainty even in the world of physics.

In spite of this uncertainty, I am awed by the cosmos and the wondrous complexity of my humanity. I am drawn by something that an anonymous 14thcentury mystic termed “The Cloud of Unknowing.” His book ^vii was aspiritual guide for contemplative prayer. The underlying message of his work suggests that there is a mystical way to know God. This way is to abandon consideration of God's particular activities and attributes. He urged practitioners to have the courage to surrender their minds and egos to the realm of "unknowing,” at which point they may begin to glimpse the nature of God.

I believe that Albert Einstein, one of the greatest scientific minds of the twentieth century, was a mystic in this sense. Even on his death bed, he continued to scribble equations trying to find a unified field theory that explained both gravity and quantum mechanics. Walter Isaacson described Einstein in this way:^viii

“On one level it is fair to say that his (Einstein's) search was futile, that all his grit and determination amounted to naught. And if it turns out a century from now that there is indeed no unified theory to be found, the quest will also look misconceived. But Einstein never regretted his dedication to it. When a colleague asked him one day why he was spending -- perhaps squandering -- his time in this lonely endeavor, he replied that even if the chance of finding a unified theory was small, the attempt was worthy.”

Einstein's quest was driven by his belief that mathematical simplicity was a feature of nature's handiwork. Every now and then, when a particularly elegant formulation cropped up, he would exult to Straus, "This is so simple God could not have passed it up." And so he continued his quest. Even if he failed to find a unified theory, he felt that the effort would be meaningful. "It is open to every man to choose the direction of his striving," he explained, "and every man may take comfort from the fine saying that the search for truth is more precious than its possession."

He (Einstein) had long been plagued by an aneurism in his abdominal aorta, and it had started to rupture. He was taken to the Princeton hospital, where one of his final requests was for some notepaper and pencils so he could continue to work on his elusive unified field theory. He died shortly after one a.m. on April 18, 1955. By his bed were twelve pages of tightly written equations, littered with cross-outs and corrections. To the very end, he struggled to read the mind of the creator of the cosmos. And the final thing he wrote, before he went to sleep for the last time, was one more line of symbols and numbers that he hoped might get him, and the rest of us, just a little step closer to the spirit manifest in the laws of the universe.

Today, we humans are lost in a cloud of unknowing. Unlike the situation in the 14thcentury, our cloud of unknowing comes with no instructions for engagement. As a result, many are slipping back into the regressive patterns of domination and destruction. This is not the total picture. There are those of us who, like Einstein, are gripped by a powerful drive toward authenticity. We are committing our lives to the betterment of humankind.

An increasing number of “nones” are living in this alien land. We don't need to be converted back to old theologies and traditions. We, like Einstein, are exploring new worlds. The description of the crew of the Starship Enterprise puts it well, “We are going where no man (sic) has gone before.”

The advice from the writer of “The Cloud of Unknowing,” updated for twenty-first century “nones” could be restated as follows: “Abandon consideration of the theologies based on a first century worldview and be courageous enough to surrender your minds and egos to the realm of "unknowing," at which point you may begin to glimpse the deeper nature of the cosmos and humankind.”

Those who continue to be moved and motivated by traditional faith proclamations and practices have a vital role in this age of transition. Your role may be more difficult than that of the “nones.” As in the dark ages, you are the “keepers of the faith.” The advice from the writer of “The Cloud of Unknowing,” updated for twenty-first century “religious folk” could be restated as follows: “Abandon considerations of the particular activities and attributes of your religious traditions. Have the courage to surrender your minds and egos to the realm of “unknowing,” at which point you may begin to glimpse the evolving nature of the transcendent.”

If we all could follow the advice of this writer in our twenty-first century situations, we might be able to come together in a vital co-creative dynamic that would benefit ourselves and all of humankind. This coming together would entail a radical inclusiveness through which we listen carefully to one another without labels, realizing that we are doing this for the sake of something deeper and more real than our narrow understandings of the cosmos.

This brings me back to the beginning of this reflection. I continue to be inspired by meaningful coincidences like the one at the coffee shop. They provide glimpses into the nature of the cosmos and our humanity. I am beginning to realize that I know longer stand apart from the cosmos. I am part of this wondrous evolving process. I am intimately connected to all that lives and is, both in suffering and in joy.

In particular, this realization has deepened my appreciation of my immediate family. I have long been aware that our children, Rebecca and Timothy (when he was alive) shared our concern for justice. Their sensitivity to others is informed by my wife, Jean's, empathetic engagement with people. Their rationality and their ability to repair and build things is due in part to my abilities. Beyond these personal ways we have influenced their lives, I am now conscious of a profound union with them that is palpable.

This is even more true with Jean. We have been married fifty-four years. During that time, we have affected one another; sometimes for good and sometimes for ill. One morning last week I “slept in.” As I snuggled in the blankets, I had the strangest sense that I was holding Jean in my arms. It was a joining that was more than physical. In a real sense, I experienced the fact that “We two had become one.” 

I may be a “none” in that my spirituality is not traditional. In a real sense, I identify with mystics throughout the ages. I am engaging something beyond my comprehension and imagination. I am at one with the cosmos and all humanity. I don't know where this engagement is leading me. I feel a deep authenticity and trust in the journey.

In closing, I leave you with the following insights:

1. Our attitudes and actions affect others like ripples in a pond, sometimes for good and sometimes for ill.
2. We are part and parcel of the mystery of the cosmos as it creates and evolves.
3. We can choose to engage this mystery, or we can put in our time without really living.

My wish for you is that you will join me in this journey into the unknown. 

iDuring the period from 2012 to 2017 the percentage of Americans who consider themselves spiritual but notreligious has risen from 19% to 27%. Meanwhile, the percentage of Americans who consider themselves spiritual andreligious has dropped from 59% to 48%.

ii17% of “nones” attend religious services at least weekly and 32% attend monthly/yearly. http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/09/06/more-americans-now-say-theyre-spiritual-but-not-religious/

iiihttps://www.ducksters.com/science/physics/elementary_particles_quarks.php

ivGo to You Tube and search for a 4 min 44 sec video “ What is the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle? - Chad Orzel

vGo to You Tube and search for a 3 min sec video “affect of gravity on the space-time continuum with Brian Greene”

viGo to You Tube and search for a 1 min 34 sec video “What is Quantum Foam with Brian Greene”

viihttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cloud_of_Unknowing

viiihttps://www.catholiceducation.org/en/faith-and-character/faith-and-character/einstein-s-final-quest.html

MOTIVATED BY COMPASSION

Last night was rough. I was scared and couldn't sleep. I thought I was suffering a recurrence of what had happened on Memorial Day. At that time I was planning to watch the playoff game between the Celtics and the Cavaliers. Instead I ended up in the emergency room suffering from Congestive Heart Failure. 

Looking back, I can see how it developed. I had gained weight and was short of breath when I bent down to tie my shoes. I had trouble sustaining notes in choir practice. Eventually I said to Jean, “I'm having trouble breathing.” She replied, “If I told you this, what would you say?” Sheepishly, I replied, “Go to the hospital.” 

In one short week, my world was shaken. I returned from the hospital with the following the instructions: 

Drastically reduce your salt intake. Limit your liquid intake. Check your blood pressure and weight daily. If you start gaining weight or have other symptoms, call your doctor.

I slept poorly last night because fears from my childhood flooded over me. I was once again that little boy overwhelmed by circumstances beyond his control. Lying there as an adult, I envied and resented healthy people. I wanted to strike out. Reasoning with myself didn't help.

Many folks experience such irrational fears. This is because emotions from past experiences, particularly those from childhood, populate our inner world and unconsciously affect our behavior. When we are stressed they arise.

Psychologist, Carl Jung, realized that similar dynamics affect us collectively.ⁱIt's as if we, as a species, have a Collective Unconscious or inner world that is populated by the emotions of our ancient ancestors. These people had few rational cognitions. Their world was filled with mysterious forces. They developed mythical stories to explain the unexplainable. Our ancestors relied on family or tribal relationships for survival. Many referred to their tribe as “The people.” Other tribes were threatening. These folks were “The Other.” Everyone was affected by the gods and goddesses that operated in the background. 

As a youth living in rural Minnesota, I was aware of these tribal identifications. Our extended family, the Bergs, was a unit. In school there were the city kids and the country kids. People were identified as Lutherans, Catholics, Presbyterians and Episcopalians. If your parents and grandparents lived in our town, you were the “real residents.” Others who arrived later were “newcomers.” I thought nothing of these distinctions at the time. This was just the way things were.

I now view these tribal identifications with alarm as they play out on a global stage. I still remember the Viet Nam war where North Vietnamese were identified as “gooks” and their deaths registered as “body counts.” Present day wars are fueled by centuries old tribal animosities - Sunni Moslems verses Shia Moslems, Catholics verses Irish, Tutsi verses Hutu. Even though we are twenty-first century, technically savvy people, we have multiple tribal affinities. We define “The Other” by distinguishing characteristics such as skin color, religion, national identity, sexual orientation, etc. 

Today people with influence manipulate these collective fears to gain power. In so doing, they unleash unconscious emotional forces with devastating implications. Ancient societies described these forces as demons or gods. We no longer believe in such gods and demons, but the unconscious fear of “The Other” continues to operate. Millions of innocent men, women and children are sacrificed in power struggles around the world. We hear reports daily of death and destruction in the Middle East. Russian officials poison their own citizens who dissent from the policies set by Vladimir Putin.ⁱⁱYemen is on the brink of a humanitarian disaster as both rebels and Saudi-led forces block the flow of food, fuel, and other supplies to starving citizens.ⁱⁱⁱPresident Trump ordered children separated from their parents as a pragmatic solution for discouraging immigration. He stated, “The United States will not be a “migrant camp.”^ivHe furtherreferred to immigrants as “animals^vand countries like Haiti as “Shit Holes.”^vi

This dehumanization dynamic is horrifying. When coupled with the destructive technologies available to the nations of our world, the threat to life on our planet through war and environmental degradation is real.

In my last post, I issued a plea for compassion. (See: Plea for Compassion In a Veil of Tears)^viiI believe that those of us who develop compassion for others can be a powerful force in addressing the global culture of fear, domination and violence. 

In light of what I shared above, I am now convinced that we cannot have compassion for others until we engage the inner dynamics that cause us to fear and distrust those different from ourselves.

There is an ancient teaching that casts light on this psychological phenomenon. According to the text,^viiiJesus was asked by a Jewish scholar, “Which is most important of all the commandments?”In essence he was asking Jesus, “According to your understanding, what must guide you so you can live into your God-given potential?”

Jesus turns the question back on the scholar asking, “What is written in the law (Jewish Scriptures)? The man responds by quoting verses from Leviticus and Deuteronomy, saying, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart (the seat of the will), with all your soul (the inner, animating element of your life), with all your strength (commitment and abilities) and with all your mind (mental processes); and (love) your neighbor as yourself.” 

Jesus then clarified his definition of “neighbor” by telling a story.^ixA man travels alone on the dangerous road from Jerusalem to Jericho. A gang of bandits attack and rob him. They leave him injured and dying by the side of the road. He is bypassed by a priest and a Levite, men who were the esteemed political/religious leaders of Israel. He is finally helped by a traveling Samaritan; a man whose tribe and religion were despised by the Jews of Jesus' time.^xJesus then asks the scholar, “Which of these three, do you think, was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?”  He answers, “The one who showed him mercy.” Jesus responds, “Go and do likewise.” This understanding of neighbor has nothing to do with race, nationality, religion, political/religious position or physical location. In fact, Jesus' specifically describes the neighbor as a member of one of the most despised classes in his society. The neighbor is more than a member of your tribe. The neighbor is the one who shows mercy.

Jesus was coming from a place of personal health and authenticity when he responded to the scholar. He was saying, “Commit yourself totally to that in your life which enables you to be your deepest authentic self. From this place you will proceed with wisdom, courage and compassion for others, because your own defensive isolating voices will be stilled.”

To those of you for whom established faith traditions are no longer helpful, this wisdom still applies. Engage with all your being that which calls forth your authentic instincts. Unless you are one of those exceptional people who are able to travel this journey alone, join with others in this endeavor.

I find Joseph Campbell's words helpful in this regard:^xi

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.” 

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”

“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again.”

“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”

For those of you who are still involved in traditional faith groups, don't just worship the God of your tradition; act on it's precepts. Give your all to promote justice. Practice compassion with and for all people. 

Writer Walter Brueggemann has these insights for you: (Although he is writing for Christians, his words apply more generally.)

“I think a case can be made that the heart of the gospel (the core teaching of your tradition) is “do not fear.” This formula is the quintessential world-changing assurance in the Bible (your sacred scripture). Fear is the great pathology of our society. It is the task of the church (your sacred community) to say “do not fear,” but that assurance must be grounded in a God who is trusted to be present in effective ways. And God is not present apart from the imagination of the poets. Thus the church, in its poetic vocation with grounding in the holy assurance of God, is entrusted with an antidote to the pathology of our time and place. It is not an easy assurance, but it is one that opens space for different actions and different social relationships, and so for different futures. This is an amazing trust to the church, and one about which the church is most often too timid.” 

For each of us there is a deep place that rings true in our inmost self. From this place we can accept ourselves as we truly are, with all our positive and negative attributes. We no longer need to try to be more than we are or to envision ourselves as less than we are. We can then have compassion for ourselves enabling our compassion for others. In so doing, we will participate in the cosmic flow that promotes life and wholeness in the face of the dark forces of fear, domination and violence.

Thomas Merton put it this way: (Make appropriate substitutions for the masculine language.)

“What is the relation of [contemplation] to action? Simply this. He who attempts to act and do things for others or for the world without deepening his own self-understanding, freedom, integrity and capacity to love will not have anything to give others. He will communicate to them nothing but the contagion of his own obsessions, his aggressiveness, his ego-centered ambitions, his delusions about ends and means, his doctrinaire prejudices and ideas. There is nothing more tragic in the modern world than the misuse of power and action. . . .”

Pema Chodron^xiiputs it this way:

“As we learn to have compassion for ourselves, the circle of compassion for others — what and whom we can work (and be in community) with, and how — becomes wider.”

This is our challenge. Engage that higher power that fills you with energy and life. Live from this source in everything you are and do. Be part of the healing of our world.

ihttps://www.simplypsychology.org/carl-jung.html

iihttps://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2018/03/06/the-long-terrifying-history-of-russian-dissidents-being-poisoned-abroad/?utm_term=.94e06e551ace

iiihttp://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-06-22/yemen-houthis-and-saudi-forces-hold-up-food-aid-fuel/9897684

ivhttps://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/jun/18/donald-trump-us-migrant-camp-border-separation

vSome say the president was referring only to the MS-13 gang. Others claim he was referring to all immigrants.

vihttps://variety.com/2018/tv/news/anderson-cooper-defends-haiti-chokes-up-donald-trump-1202662627/

viihttps://drchuckpfeifer.blogspot.com/2018/05/a-plea-for-compassion-in-veil-of-tears.html

viiiLuke 10:25-28 (The scholar quotes from Deuteronomy 6:4,5 and Leviticus 19:18)

ixLuke 10:29-37

xhttp://www.stephanielandsem.com/2013/04/jews-vs-samaritans-the-origin-of-conflict/

xihttps://www.brainyquote.com/authors/joseph_campbell

xiiPema Chodron (2000). “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times”, p.110, Shambhala Publications

A PLEA FOR COMPASSION IN A VEIL OF TEARS

We recently commemorated the 50^thanniversary of the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (MLK) He was gunned down on April 4, 1968 while standing on the balcony of the Lorraine Motel in Memphis Tennessee. 

Martin Luther King Jr. is one of my all-time heroes. The soaring rhetoric of his “I Have A Dream” speech lifts my spirit. His closing words embody all my hopes and dreams for the world:

“When we allow freedom to ring-when we let it ring from every city and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, 'Free at last, Free at last, Great God a-mighty, we are free at last.'”

Unfortunately Dr. King's life had no fairytale ending. He realized that the struggle for justice was broader than seeking equal opportunities for black Americans in the south. The struggle encompassed all people who experienced discrimination and oppression. 

For these reasons, Dr. King decided - against the strong opposition of those in his inner circle - to give a speech on April 4, 1967 at Riverside Church in New York City. In this speech he stated his opposition to the US promotion of the war in Viet Nam.ⁱHe did so in the strongest of language saying:

“As I have walked among the desperate, rejected, and angry young men, I have told them that Molotov cocktails and rifles would not solve their problems. I have tried to offer them my deepest compassion while maintaining my conviction that social change comes most meaningfully through nonviolent action. But they asked, and rightly so, "What about Vietnam?" They asked if our own nation wasn't using massive doses of violence to solve its problems, to bring about the changes it wanted. Their questions hit home, and I knew that I could never again raise my voice against the violence of the oppressed in the ghettos without having first spoken clearly to the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today: my own government. For the sake of those boys, for the sake of this government, for the sake of the hundreds of thousands trembling under our violence, I cannot be silent.” 

With these words MLK signed his death warrant and guaranteed that president Lyndon B. Johnson and FBI director J. Edgar Hoover, would do all in their power to discredit him and his efforts. 

Dr. King was acting faithfully as a Christian pastor. He was following in the steps of Jesus who decided to journey to Jerusalem to challenge the religio-political leaders of his nation, thus assuring his own execution as an enemy of the state.

The issue for Dr. King was not winning at any cost. To do so would be playing into the very dynamics of the domination systems which he condemned. He, like Gandhi, understood that nonviolent resistance was not merely a tactic. He, like Buddha, realized that we cannot live out our deep humanity unless we grow in compassion and wisdom. For Dr. King, the struggle was literally for the soul of America,

This brings me to the core of this reflection. I am convinced that those of us who struggle for justice must resign ourselves to suffering. This is not the suffering of heroic sacrifice for a cause; noble as that may be. This is not the suffering experienced by those oppressed by unjust social structures, war, or accidents of nature; tragic as those may be. No, this is the suffering of those who who are bound to others by the invisible strings of love and compassion. This is the suffering of a parent who is unable to stop a child from engaging in destructive acts. This is the suffering of one who grieves for family members who are destroying one another through back-biting and other hateful dynamics. 

Dr. King suffered in this way for America. He said:

The war in Vietnam is but a symptom of a far deeper malady within the American spirit, ... in 1957, a sensitive American official overseas said that it seemed to him that our nation was on the wrong side of a world revolution. During the past ten years we have seen emerge a pattern of suppression which has now justified the presence of U.S. military advisors in Venezuela. This need to maintain social stability for our investment accounts for the counter-revolutionary action of American forces in Guatemala. It tells why American helicopters are being used against guerrillas in Cambodia and why American napalm and Green Beret forces have already been active against rebels in Peru.

It is with such activity in mind that the words of the late John F. Kennedy come back to haunt us. Five years ago he said, "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." Increasingly, by choice or by accident, this is the role our nation has taken: the role of those who make peaceful revolution impossible by refusing to give up the privileges and the pleasures that come from the immense profits of overseas investments. I am convinced that if we are to get on the right side of the world revolution, we as a nation must undergo a radical revolution of values. We must rapidly begin the shift from a thing-oriented society to a person-oriented society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights, are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, extreme materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered.ⁱⁱ

It is a terrible thing to be afflicted with this kind of compassion. It makes one vulnerable; susceptible to experiencing the pain of others. When we are afflicted by compassion, it is impossible to wall ourselves off. We can no longer ignore the suffering of others. When we are afflicted by compassion, we can no longer maintain the fiction that we are in control of our destinies. 

I experienced a bit of this suffering when Jean and I took our daughter and grandson to St. Louis. We traveled there to visit the Arch and other tourist spots while reminiscing about our graduate school days. While there, we asked Siri to guide us to a public park where my grandson could play. She led us into the northern edges of the city. The further north we traveled, the more the neighborhoods deteriorated. It was clear that our grandson would not play in the park to which Siri was guiding us. 

As we turned back, I was able to look around. Unlike the ghettos of many large cities, this was not an area of densely packed low income apartment buildings. There were open areas with few trees. It was more like the war zones of the Middle East. I saw high rises partially destroyed and other buildings with gaping wounds. Even so, people went about their daily business. Two young girls walked along the street returning home from school. People entered a grocery store. At one time, it was part of a chain. It was now a decrepit store front. 

As we moved further downtown, the landscape changed – no more half destroyed high rises. There were more traditional single family homes. In these neighborhoods, half the homes were either boarded up or burned out. Interspersed with these were houses in reasonably good shape.

I imagined trying maintain a semi-normal home life in the midst of this decay. For me, these folks were no longer part of a nameless group of poor black people. They were unique individuals with names, histories, hopes and desires. I ached for them. I realized I must continue to devote myself to the struggle for justice. This was not only for their sake, but for the sake of my own humanity.

My thoughts turned back to Dr. King. What must it have been like for him? He identified with the African American people in the south. But compassion made him vulnerable to the suffering of others. Afflicted by compassion, he suffered with oppressed people of all races in the United States and globally. He could not help but challenge racism in the North. He was compelled to speak out against the horrors visited by the United States military on the peasants of Viet Nam, Cambodia and Thailand.

For Dr. King, nonviolent resistance was more than a strategy. It was at the core of his being. 

Today we face circumstances not too different from those in the 1960's. Racism is alive and well in this country, as Donald Trump and his allies play on our fears and prejudices. “America First” means “Wealthy White America First.” It means advocating a foreign policy that promotes gains for Americans with wealth and power at the expense of middle and low income people.ⁱⁱⁱIt means sacrificing our fragile ecosystem for short term gains. It means employing our vast military, technological and economic power to dominate the rest of the world.

Dr. King's warnings at Riverside Church 1967 are as relevant today as they were fifty years ago. The United States continues to be on the wrong side of a world revolution. Our nation is making peaceful revolution impossible. We refuse to give up the privileges and pleasures that come from the immense profits of overseas investments. We are fueling a pandemic much more dangerous than that threatened by the Ebola virus. By normalizing the use of power to satisfy our unbounded greed, we threaten the global economic order, our ecosystem and our species.

It is patently obvious that the way of domination and violence is not working. We are destroying what makes us human. We are like alcoholics who return over and over to alcohol to provide happiness and a sense of self worth. Only our drug of choice is power and domination.

Buddha, it is said, passed a man on the road soon after his enlightenment. The man was struck by the Buddha’s extraordinary radiance and peaceful presence, his compassion and wisdom. The man stopped and asked, “My friend, what are you? Are you a celestial being or a god?” “No,” said the Buddha. “Well, then, are you some kind of magician or wizard? Again the Buddha answered, “No.”“Are you a man?” “No.” “Well, my friend, then what are you?” The Buddha replied, “I am awake.”

We must “Wake Up.” Gandhi and MLK were effective because they were motivated by compassion and love. 

MLK stated: 

“Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.”

I hope and pray that you will join the movement to promote the values of compassion, love and wisdom in our society even as we struggle for justice and equality for all people.

i     https://kinginstitute.stanford.edu/king-papers/documents/beyond-vietnam

ii    https://kinginstitute.stanford.edu/king-papers/documents/beyond-vietnam

iii  82 percent of the global wealth generated in 2017 went to the world's richest 1 percent. Also 42 people hold the same wealth as half the world's population (poorest 3.7 Billion people)- https://www.theguardian.com/inequality/2018/jan/22/inequality-gap-widens-as-42-people-hold-same-wealth-as-37bn-poorest

LIFE, DEATH AND BABIES – Part I

Go With Life ⁱ

Valentine’s Day was tough. Three years ago our son was found dead in his apartment. We don't know the exact date of his death. The cause was abuse of alcohol combined with drugs prescribed for chronic health issues. Valentines's day is no longer a time of hearts, flowers and little Cupids. It is a time of love tinged with sadness.

It is also a time of regret as I belatedly acknowledge that I wasn't the nurturing father I could have been. What if I had been a better parent? Would that have kept my son from dying?

I am painfully aware of the many times that I put my job ahead of family. I believed that I was “Called by God” to serve the poor and oppressed. I still remember saying, “If I have to choose between God and my family, I will choose God.” Only now do I realize that my “Call from God” was not a message from beyond. It was work-o-holism, an addictive compulsion to obtain love and acceptance through personal achievement. This addiction spawned a host of other addictive patterns destructive to me and my family.

What can I do? I can't change the past. My son died. I am a work-o-holic, recovering, but still a work-o-holic. It seems that death is the victor.

Furthermore, I'm aging.

I recently dreamed that I was a student at a large university I had one free semester to take elective courses. I chose courses in philosophy, theology and psychology instead of math and physics. I was considering a career transition. As I scheduled these courses, the young registrar looked at me in amazement. She couldn't believe that an old man was considering a career transition.

I awoke from the dream sad and depressed. I am nearing the end of my life. There are many things I will never explore or experience. Death looms over me.

I have been a social activist most of my life. When I survey the divisiveness and violence in our world, I wonder, “What difference did I make.” The shadow of death darkens every corner of my existence.

This is the kind of thinking that fueled my addictive work-o-holism. I believed that I had to earn love and respect. I had to be successful so people would love and respect me.

BUT WAIT A MINUTE

My pastorⁱⁱ recently preached a sermon that helped me immensely. She walks with a limp because she contracted polio when she was two years old. Her mother placed her on the floor on a blanket so she could be with her brother and sister as they played near her. One day she dragged herself to the wall and tried to push herself up. Time and again she pushed against that wall until finally, she was standing. She doesn't remember this because she was too young. She didn't will herself to stand because she was precognitive. Some Life-force had surged through her little body, pushing her to rise.

Now that I am more conscious, I see this Life-force surging all around me. I notice a daisy pushing its way through a cracks in the sidewalk. I see clouds of Monarch butterflies migrating thousands of miles to a sanctuary where they reproduce. I remember the documentary, “March of the Penguins,” that depicts the yearly journey of Antarctic Emperor Penguins to their breeding grounds. There they mate and take turns huddled together, enduring winter blasts, balancing eggs on their feet holding them in the warm furry embrace of their bodies until they hatch in the spring.

There seems to be an innate dynamic in the cosmos that wills itself to life even in the face of extinction.

Psychologist, Carl Jung, observed similar patterns (archetypesⁱⁱⁱ) in humans. Certain images appear in stories, art, myths, religions and dreams across different cultures and in different millennia We all have a deep sense of “mother,” “battle,” “journey,” “lover,” etc. These images evoke powerful emotions when we experience them personally as our mothers, our battles, our journeys or our lovers. They function like the psychic counterpart of instinct. They resonate as true at a deep emotional level.

Two of these patterns involve the Life-force that my pastor describe in her personal story. These are the “death/rebirth” archetype and the “birth from the virginal” archetype.

Through the millennia and across cultures, humans have experienced the fact that whenever something dies, a new potential for life (a new birth) appears. Furthermore, humans have experienced the fact that in dark times, new “out of the box” potentials arise. These are only potentials however. They are like defenseless babies. They must be actualized by humans who are willing to risk engaging them.

If I am conscious of the function of these archetypal patterns, I can be assured that every time I experience a death in my life, some new thing is trying to be born. My challenge is to search for this new birth and to nurture it. Similarly, when things are dark in my life, I can be assured that many “outside the box” opportunities are arising. Once again, I am challenged to seek these out and risk acting on them.

Returning to my personal story, I continue to experience sadness and regret concerning the death of my son. Yet, I am also experiencing opportunities for new beginnings. I can't undo my past behaviors, but I can act on these present opportunities.

For example, I am being given new opportunities to act as a caring “parent.” I spend time with my grandson who loves and respects me. Young men are asking my advice, much as they might from a father.

My wife and I are experiencing new possibilities in our relationship. When we get caught in negative dynamics, we are now able to say to one another, “Is this worth it? What if one of us dies tomorrow?” This has changed our relationship. We are learning to cherish one another during the time we have left.

Life is emerging in me, even as I age; and my energy wanes. This isn't a matter of increased willpower or resolve. As with my pastor's story, Life just springs forth when I am open to it.

I still regret that I was not available to my son when he was a child. This may never change. Even so, I hear him urging me on. “Hey Pops. You can do it. Go for it, man.”

When I trust the dynamic of Life surging through the cosmos, I am less likely to spend my energy nurturing hatred and anger, or in seeking revenge. I can spend my energy looking for the new Life emerging from death and for those vulnerable “out of the box” potentials that are always present in times of darkness and despair.

Yes, a Life-force surges through the cosmos, pushing us to reach for the light. Death is not the end because death is always followed by rebirth. The darkness of despair is never final. Tiny shoots appear in the forest. Life springs forth regardless of the circumstances.

This is the good news. When we engage the Life-force within us, death and violence cannot prevail.

iI hope to write my next reflection on how we can creatively engage these dynamics personally and collectively.

iiI want to thank Pastor Yoo-Yun Cho-Chang for insights that contributed to this reflection.

iiihttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jungian_archetypes

LISTEN – A Tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

We just celebrated Dr. MLK Jr.'s birthday. His efforts affected the situations, not only of African Americans, but of all oppressed people.

Marting Luther King likened his journey to that of Moses, leading his people to the promised land. Both Moses and Martin seemed destined to lift humankind above its baser tendencies as they followed a divine calling.

Moses' encounter occurred in the wilderness when Yahweh appeared in the form of a burning bush.ⁱ Dr. King's, occurred one night early in the Montgomery Bus boycottⁱⁱ He had come home from a meeting after Coretta and the kids had gone to bed. The phone rang, and an anonymous caller threatened his life. He went to bed but couldn't sleep. The path before him seemed impossible. Then, while praying aloud, he felt the presence of God as he never had before.ⁱⁱⁱ

I used to question my commitment because I never had a profound religious experience. Then, I learned that the beginning of Dr. King's career was also unremarkable. He wrote:^iv

My call to the ministry was neither dramatic nor spectacular. It came neither by some miraculous vision nor by some blinding light experience on the road of life. Moreover, it did not come as a sudden realization. Rather, it was a response to an inner urge that gradually came upon me. This urge expressed itself in a desire to serve God and humanity, and the feeling that my talent and my commitment could best be expressed through the ministry.

Martin was the son of a prominent parents, his mother a musician and his father the pastor of Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta. It was here where he was nurtured spiritually, intellectually and in his concern for racial justice. It was here that his urge to serve God and humanity was cultivated. This urge was further enhanced by like-minded people in seminary, in graduate school and in the civil rights movement. In this context Martin's epiphany in Montgomery, was not a new beginning as much as it was powerful affirmation on his journey.

I now realize that some of us are blessed with profound life experiences, but these alone will not keep us going. Jesus had a religious experience in his baptism, but even he had to go into the wilderness from time-to-time to pray. It's the less dramatic experiences that keep us going. This is why it's so important for each of us to listen for that inner urge that moves in our lives.

My inner urge was conditioned by my early life experiences in a small town in rural Minnesota. I was raised in a family that emphasized caring for one another. Because of this, I was acutely aware of people who suffered through no fault of their own.

I remember a family who lived near us. Their shabby house was set back among some trees in a weedy lot. Broken toys littered the yard. Little kids, in worn clothes, came in and out of the house. One day, I learned their mother had died in her sleep, probably from asthma. I anguished for these children. Imagine the horror. A little child wakes in the morning and discovers her mom dead in her bed. The image still haunts me.

There was grown man in our town who pushed himself around in a red wagon. His face was covered with stubble. He wore work overhauls and drooled. He smiled, waving his hands aimlessly, if people greeted him. What must it have been like to be trapped in his body?

A Downs Syndrome kid lived in our neighborhood. His mom was a hair dresser who operated a small business out of her home. I was impressed by the way his parents normalized his living, treating him, as much as possible, like all the other kids his age. He would never be able to live independently. What would happen when his parents were too old to care for him?

These people of my youth continue to live in my inner world. They motivate me as I engage others who are suffering through no fault of their own. I felt an urge to minimize their suffering.

When I was in high school, I read, “The Last Temptation of Christ” by Nikos Kazantzakis. I resonated with the life and values of the Jesus described by Kazantzakis. He was no longer just a figure on the church altar. He was a flesh and blood man who had the same struggles as I had. This enhanced my urge to get involved.

While in college, I visited the Taize monastery in France.^v While eating and working with the monks and enjoying the beautiful land, I was overcome with a sense of peace and harmony.

When I directed the Madison Urban Ministry, I encountered committed people of many races, religions and economic conditions. These folks motivated me, and the urge grew stronger.

Now, love for my daughter and grandson has brought my wife and me to the Boston area. Here we are connecting with wonderful people, some at a local coffee shop, others at a little United Methodist Church and still others in local social justice groups. All the while I continue to be nurtured by past friends and family members.

Something in me continues to press onward. This is the same thing that motivated Martin Luther King Jr. and all those people who sacrificed their lives in the Civil Rights Movement. It continues to move through unnamed people in unknown places throughout the world. It manifests in little reports of courage and goodness that will not be drowned out by the negative news that floods over us daily.

The Spirit moves relentlessly like the wind blowing across the ocean. It produces swells that grow to become waves, with foaming crests, that crash against the shore. People like Dr. MLK Jr. are the magnificent leading edge of these waves.

Still, these heroes and heroines are just markers in a larger social movement. As with the crashing wave, we only notice the foaming waters at the crest. But without the millions of droplets making up the waves, there would be no crests.

The giant wave of the Civil Rights movement crashed against the shore and is receding. Unfortunately, the words of Dr. King in his Beyond Vietnam Speech^vi are as true today as they were fifty years ago. He said:

We must rapidly begin the shift from a thing-oriented society to a person-oriented society. When machines and computers (and social networks), profit motives and property rights, are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism (prejudice), extreme materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered. 

It is time for a renewal of a civil rights movement for the 21^st century. The winds of the Spirit continue to blow. The ground swells are obvious as environmental groups, scientists, local governments and faith communities begin to respond to the efforts of new groups; #MeToo; Black Lives Matter; The Poor Peoples' March; The Standing Rock Sioux, opposing a pipeline over Native lands; Immigrants Rights groups; LGBTQ groups; and others.

It is time for each of us do our little part. We are called to respond even though our efforts will probably go unnoticed in the larger scheme of things. I yearn for a future where each of us will listen for and respond to the inner urge to commit our lives to a future of justice, peace and compassion. Then we can say with Dr. King:

I have a dream that (our) little children will one day live in a (world) where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. …. And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every (nation), we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black, (brown, yellow, red) and white, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, (Buddhists, Moslems and others) will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

iExodus 3:1-17

iihttp://kingencyclopedia.stanford.edu/encyclopedia/encyclopedia/enc_montgomery_bus_boycott_1955_1956/

iiihttp://www.sparknotes.com/biography/mlk/section3/page/2/

ivhttp://kingencyclopedia.stanford.edu/encyclopedia/documentsentry/my_call_to_the_ministry/index.html

vhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taizé_Community

vihttp://www.famous-speeches-and-speech-topics.info/martin-luther-king-speeches/martin-luther-king-speech-beyond-vietnam.htm

WHEN WE DON'T BELIEVE

I have a young friend. Let's call him James. One night James narrowly missed hitting a dog that charged across the road in front of his car. The wounded animal was trying to escape a pack of coyotes that had attacked it. James pulled over, jumped out of his vehicle and chased the crazed animal into the woods. He found it crouching in the bushes, growling. The dog, sensing that James was friendly, calmed down as he approached. James picked up the bleeding animal and carried it to his car, where he wrapped it in a blanket in his back seat. He tended to the animal's wounds, checked the tag around its neck and brought it to its owners who took it to a vet for emergency care.

This is not an isolated incident for James. I call him “the animal whisperer” because he is so concerned about the plight of animals. He is also bothered about the way humans are destroying our plant species and how we are killing ourselves by our unhealthy eating and life-styles.

“Why are they so stupid?” he shouts. "Can't they see we are damaging ourselves and the earth by the way we live?”

“I respond,” James, in your own way, you are a prophet. Those of us on the cutting edge will always be frustrated because others don't get it.”

“Yeah,” he replies. “What good did they ever accomplish? Nothing changed. Many of them got killed. Kill or be killed. That's the way the world operates. The Italian Mafia had it right. Take care of your own because no one else will do it for us. This talk about loving everyone sounds good, but it doesn't work in the real world.”

James was raised in a Catholic family. He still wears a religious medal that belonged to his grandmother. Yet he has little time for churches and other religious groups.

“There are some good things about them,” he says, “but they are basically political organizations. Look at the sexual abuse of kids by priests and ministers. Churches are mainly interested in self preservation. Their talk about God doesn't do much for me. I'm thinking about moving to Hawaii where things are simpler and where people appreciate nature and one another.”

I respond, “James, you continue to promote good living and eating habits and advocate compassion for plants and animals. Something is keeping you going even though your efforts seem useless. You are caught by something that won't let go. Remember James, this is more than an intellectual exercise. Stay in touch with your heart as well as your head.”

James nods, and grudgingly admits this is true.

I have an Indian friend. Call him Nandha. His parents are devout Hindus. He attended a college run by an Augustinian order of monks. Following college, Nandha volunteered with this order and worked a couple years with disadvantaged high school kids. He is now employed by a tech firm. Nandha is still close to his family and joins them for meals on a regular basis. He tells me that people his age, raised in the Hindu faith, are also less involved in the religious practices of their families.

Nandha, like my Catholic friend, James, continues to live in ways that promote compassion and justice, as he was taught in his Hindu household. Although he is not as involved in the religious practices of his parents, he is still engaged and motivated by some unnamed source that his parents would call Brahman, the Supreme Being.

In a way, I am not too different from James and Nandha. I had difficulty accepting the teachings and practices of my Lutheran tradition. In fact, my God was not a God of love. He was a punishing father. It was not until my late 50's that I discovered God as a friend. I imagined having conversations with him while sitting by a campfire near a lake. Several years later, this image dissolved. I no longer have a specific image of God. I, like my young friends, experience something that keeps me going, even in the midst of the world's violence.

Some of us were fortunate and did not have to anguish over such things. My sister lived with cancer for fifteen years. Her church and faith were powerful sources of comfort in her living and her dying. Bonnie, a life-time member of the little church I attend, is another of those people. Several months ago, we celebrated her hundredth birthday at a Sunday service. She was radiant when our little choir serenaded her with hymns she has enjoyed all her life.

We each have beliefs about what gives life meaning. But our specific religious/moral beliefs aren't the main point. These are times when powerful men and women corrupt our democracy for personal gain. What matters is that we who are moved to work for peace, compassion and justice, join together and dedicate our lives to these efforts.

We in our faith communities, need to rethink our roles. We need to pay closer attention to the practices and professions of the founders of our religious traditions. It does little good to judge others by their belief systems or whether they participate in formal religious organizations.

As a follower of Jesus, I need to remember that he never put himself first. He always acknowledged a loving presence greater than himself, whom he knew as a parent. He did not aspire to being a social/political leader even when people urged him to do so. He always put himself on the line when promoting the cause of compassion and justice. In strategizing, he was wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove. By living wisely, with love and compassion, he hoped and yearned to be part of a dawning new order. He believed this order was more powerful than the systems of death and destruction that surrounded him.

This raises important questions for faith communities. Do we need to alter our strategies as we work for justice and compassion?

The civil rights movements of the '60's and '70's were led by religious leaders. They marched at the head of parades, organized nonviolent protests and provided their buildings for meetings and prayer services. These days faith communities no longer exercise this degree of political and moral influence. Their influence is further reduced as crafty politicians manipulate them for personal gain.

It is easy to bemoan the decline in faith organizations. Maybe things aren't as grim as they seem. We need to be more aware of people like my friends James and Nandha. Perhaps that energy we have identified only with faith communities is once more loose on the land, moving where it wills.

A parable about the action of the Holy Spirit may be relevant here:

After Jesus died, the Holy Spirit burst free from the grave. The church chased after It and stuffed It in a box of dogma and ritual. Once again It burst free. Time and again the church caught It and stuffed It back in the box. Time and again the Holy Spirit burst free. This reminds me of the old Road Runner cartoons. They feature Wylie Coyote who chases the Road Runner in episode after episode. He always fails to catch him, often with disastrous and humorous results.

The Christmas/Hanukkah season occurs near the winter solstice; a time celebrated by many religious and secular movements.ⁱ It is a time when light begins to shine in the darkness – when life and hope are born in the midst of despair.

This year is particularly dark for me as divisiveness, hatred, fear and violence dominate our national and international attention. I am desperate for images of light and hope. This is why I'm so delighted to know people like James and Nandha, as well as people like my sister and Bonnie. They all nourish me in these dark times.

I also find a glimmer of hope in the writings of theologian, Karen Armstrong. ⁱⁱ She states that humanity is in the midst of major reawakening,ⁱⁱⁱ similar to that which occurred during the period from 800—200 BCE.^iv

Armstrong writes:

(This earlier reawakening called the first axial age) is the time when all the great world religions came into being. And in every single case, the spiritualities that emerged during the Axial Age—Taoism and Confucianism in China, monotheism in Israel, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism in India, and Greek rationalism in Europe—began with a recoil from violence, with looking into the heart to find the sources of violence in the human psyche. The conviction that the world was awry was fundamental to these spiritualities. One of the things that is very striking is that all the great sages were living in a time like our own—a time full of fear, violence, and horror. Their experience of utter impotence in a cruel world impelled them to seek the highest goals and an absolute reality in the depths of their beings.

I live in the hope that the energy of the cosmos, like Wiley Coyote, continues to roam free, creating and innovating in spite of humanity's desperate attempts to control it. As I imagine this energy breaking out all over the place, I am less concerned about the decline in participation in faith communities. I am willing to commit myself to this emergence rather than to institutional preservation. I am willing to join with all people who are compelled to promote compassion and justice.

This effort is important as there is a real danger facing our species. Men and women in positions of power are, knowingly or unknowingly, promoting fear, divisiveness, destruction and death as they attempt to maintain the old order. Since this transition will occur over many life-times, it is imperative that we who are moved by this energy, develop and maintain practices that deepen our discernment of the new thing that is arising. It is also imperative that we explore new ways of engaging this emerging reality.

Those of us in faith communities need to emulate the lives of the founders of our traditions, depending less on the dogmas produced by these traditions. This means risking our very institutions as we engage our communities as servants. One congregation of aging members described this as “Living Like You're Dying.”^v

Those of you who are motivated to work for justice and compassion, but do not profess any religion, need to acknowledge that the mysterious dynamic that motivates you also motivates those in faith communities. This will enable you to engage with people from faith communities, without getting caught in old hurts and in the rejection of outmoded definitions of God and Faith.

Together, will we be able to trust this mysterious dynamic that is more life giving than the old order that is passing away.

I will close with a piece written by Mary Luti.^vi

(Some of you may wish to substitute another word for “God” in what follows.)

“AH TIM”

Since childhood a man I know has been attracted to Something. He didn't know what It was back then, but he felt pulled in Its direction. It was like a strong undertow. He went with it.

In college, a friend took him to church. There he was lucky to discover that It was God. The God Jesus talked about, and talked to, at night, alone in the hills.

He started talking to God, too, saying, "Ah, God, you…" That's how he prayed, with that sigh. He heard God sigh back, "Ah, Tim, you…" Always a sigh, and a stirring.

Until a day when there was neither. No sigh. No stirring. Not in church where he prayed. Not under the stars where he pleaded. Not even in the shelter where he worked, which was disquieting, for he'd often heard God sigh there.

He'd been returned to the beginning, he thought, before there were sighs. He was bereft, but by now sighing was his habit, second nature, oxygen. He kept it up.

Sometimes he felt stupid, like a crazed unrequited lover, lobbing his longing into a void. He got over even that after a while.

He hasn't heard God sigh, "Ah, Tim, you..." for years. He knows he may never hear his name that way again. But recently he told me he's content. He has what he's always wanted.

For he's come to know that God isn't a prize at the end of his sighs, but lives entire within them, end to beginning, beginning to end. Desire is all there is, and all the way to God is God.

ihttp://www.religioustolerance.org/xmas_other.htm, http://www.religioustolerance.org/xmas_conflict1.htm,

iihttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karen_Armstrong

iiihttp://www.adishakti.org/_/a_new_axial_age_by_karen_armstrong.htm

ivhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axial_Age

vhttp://m.startribune.com/struggling-maplewood-finds-new-life-by-living-like-you-are-dying/451860703/

vihttp://www.ucc.org/devotionals_by_mary_luti